So a relationship starts and everything seems like it's going well.
The guy tells himself he is happy.
The woman thinks she is happy.
Or maybe not?
But the point of this article is not the women.
The point is the man.
It's how men make their biggest relationship mistakes.
It's about the most common mistake that leads to misery for men and women all over the world.
But why misery?
What goes wrong?
So here is the usual scenario:
A man is single.
He doesn't have consistent success with women.
Or he has very little success with women and dating.
But one day by chance he gets lucky and meets a woman at a party.
She is average but not to bad on the eye.
He had a few glasses of wine.
So he thinks to himself that she isn't exactly his type but she seems nice and it could be a fun evening.
So the 2 of them go home together, have sex, and the next day he leaves and goes back to his normal life.
A few days later he thinks about her.
He doesn't think she is the greatest woman in the world.
But he thinks it might be fun to see her again.
And it will definitely be easy sex for him.
So he calls her.
And this same thing goes on for a few weeks.
After a few weeks, he starts to realize more and more things about her that he doesn't like.
But he tells himself that ist Ok, and that “it's not serious”.
And the weeks fly by before he knows to sit it been a few months.
By now he is comfortable with having sex with her, but even that is getting a little boring.
He starts thinking more and more about ending it.
But the problem is she thinks they are in a relationship.
She thinks they are ina relationship because the truth is that they are in one.
The man set the foundation for it.
And by his actions create the whole thing.
So as the weeks go by he wants to end it.
But he is split into 2 minds.
One part of him wants to end it right now.
And the other part thinks about how hard it's going to be to tell her that it's over.
That same part of his mind tells him that it's convenient, its easy sex, a warm body, and companionship.
He doesn't miss the lonely nights of the past without her.
Besides, he wonders how hard it will be to meet another girlfriend?
So he decided to stay with her for a while and at the same time looking around for someone better.
Time flies by and now he has been with her for a year.
And now she wants to have “the talk”.
So she asks him the big question, “Where is this relationship going?”
So he crumbles under the pressure and asks her to marry him.
Now he is locked in.
After a few years of marriage, he is absolutely miserable.
He hates his life.
He feels trapped and she is putting pressure on him to have a child.
After another year she became pregnant by “accident” and now there is no turning back.
His life is hell.
He feels lonely at night sleeping right next to her.
She controls him.
Runs his life and he is now a plow horse for her and their new family.
This is more or less the story of millions of men around the world.
This story is not about women.
It's not about the family or the children.
Because all those things could potentially be good if it's done on the man's terms.
But it's not done on his terms and that's the problem.
You see, a lot of men have problems with making the most important choices in their lives.
And to understand that you need to go back to the beginning of the story.
Most men live in scarcity.
They have a lot of challenges with women and dating.
And the reason for this is simple, they have never confronted themselves in terms of becoming better as men.
Those parts of themselves that hold them back in life never get confronted.
Those parts of most mediocre men.
Parts like playing the victim.
Or the part of just doing the minimum at work.
Not knowing what they want in life.
Having no control over their minds.
Or letting their bodies age and decay form inactivity.
And the most important part is that they are poisoned by a toxic belief system.
A belief system that created a terrible way of looking at themselves and the world around them.
These men have low confidence and low self-esteem.
So this is the context of a lot of men when they unconsciously walk into relationships that are bad for them.
They get placed in positions where they need to make the most important choices of their lives and they are not ready for it.
So let's say for example a mediocre beta male finally meets a woman.
They are on a date.
Now 2 choices will happen.
The first choice is her's.
She will choose to sleep with him or not.
That is her choice.
But then after sex, the choosing power will shift.
Now he has a choice to make.
He just had sex.
Now he needs to ask himself does he want to see this woman again?
That is his choice.
It seems like a random choice.
It seems like an easy, unimportant choice with no consequences.
But as we saw in the first part of this article the consequences can be brutal.
In fact, it can be life-changing in a negative way.
All you need to do is to look at the divorce numbers to know that decision making for men is a big problem.
The reality is that most men have an opportunity to walk away.
If he does not feel 100% attracted to a woman he can walk away.
He can make the choice right there, it might be a little uncomfortable in the moment.
But its a lot easier than being stuck in an unhappy relationship for years that could potentially end in disaster.
When we make bad choices it doesn't just hurt us, it also hurts everyone else involved.
The sad thing is that all of this could have been avoided if these men just had the strength and courage to walk away.
But they dont.
Firstly like I mentioned before they are men that have never confronted their own weaknesses.
So these men desperately just want someone to accept them as they are before she realizes that he is a fraud and an empty shell.
They also get seduced by the comfort of having a woman with them in bed so that they dont have to be alone.
This same woman he doesn't even find 100% attractive.
This same one that he can't stand to look at.
The same woman that he wants to leave.
Its a whole range of contradictions but he stays there.
It's like these men have Stockholm syndrome and can't leave.
Having a healthy relationship is great.
But it has to be on your terms.
But more importantly, you should really be attracted to her.
You should have no doubt.
She should be someone that has high standards.
But most importantly you should have high standards.
But at the end of the day, it comes down to a problem with these men's mindset.
The problem is that most men have a scarcity mindset.
And most of these men who make these crazy decisions live in scarcity.
They think there aren't enough women in the world.
They think there isn't enough money in the world.
They live in a general state of scarcity.
So the first person that gives them attention gets locked on.
And unfortunately like we just saw it ends badly.
The good news is that you have the power to change.
You have the power to start living in abundance if you choose to do so.
It starts by stop being a little bitch.
Stop being a victim.
Take responsibility and start believing again.
Start dreaming again.
Dream great big dreams.
Big things that are possible for you.
But you have to plant those seeds first and then get up.
And start by becoming the hero of your own movie.
Start becoming someone you can be proud of.
Start living like a man that knows the world has an abundance of resources that includes women.
All you have to do is to become a man of value.
Then realize deeply how valuable you truly are.
But to do that you will have to raise your standards.
And a big part of that is making better decisions.
And as you grow you will get confronted by the choices like we talked about in this article you will be able to make strong and wise decisions.
This will lead to a life of freedom.
A life that you designed
Not a life that was forced on you.
But rather a life you consciously chose.
A life that you control.
A life that will be legendary.
A life that you can be proud of.
But you must be willing to do the work to get there.
So the question is this?
Until next time my brothers….