Today I'm talking about how to be an attractive man,but before we do let's look at some background.
Why do most men fail with women and relationships?
Successful dating is a challenge for most men.
Even if they do find themselves in a relationship the struggle continues.
Divorce rates are sky-high.
Many are unhappy in relationships because they just settle for anything they can get.
These days men settle for tinder dating because they don't have the confidence to talk with women.
Or they are just scared of being rejected.
How To Be An Attractive Man
Most of you guys who know Game knows that men are always looking for ways to date more women or have more success with women and relationships.
The guys who don't know what game is are mostly looking for ways to suck up to women to please them.
Or like mentioned before they try and find the most successful dating websites like Tinder and others.
But today I want to talk about both groups.
In fact, I want to talk to all men who want more success with women and dating.
Both men who know some Game and men who know none.
How To Be An Attractive Man: The Key
There is one key to getting what you want with women.
Most men have heard this before but they deny this as an option.
They deny it because it's not the easy way to get what they want.
So they go to the short cut with hacks, tricks and bullshit stories.
Many forms of Game theory advocate for some of these methods.
Not all Game is bad but if you depend on Game alone for success with women then you will lose.
So let me tell you what has to happen for you to get what you want with women, dating, and relationships.
What Is The Problem?
Firstly let me tell you what the problem is.
You are the problem.
You are not good enough.
I was in the same position several years ago.
I wasn't good enough.
So I'm not just pointing fingers.
I know from personal experience that the problem is looking back at you in the mirror.
So now you know the problem is you.
Maybe you don't believe it yet but stick with me.
So now you getting all defensive?
You are probably saying things like:
“What do you mean I'm the problem?”
“I am who I am.”
“I'm just being myself.”
“I'm not going to pretend do be someone else.”
Within this whole defense lies the problem.
We think we are fine.
We think we are fine and we just need a chance to show the women how great we are.
This is the problem.
Because underneath this lies the mindset of you already knowing you are not good enough.
Because if you were good enough you probably wouldn't be looking for solutions.
You need to figure out how to be an attractive man.
The Puppy Mentality Of Most Men.
You know you are already crawling like a dog and hoping she would just give you some attention.
Like a puppy waiting for treats.
She throws the treat and the puppy jumps to get one more treat.
This is how most men approach dating.
They act like needy chumps and hope the women rewards them with sex and attention.
So what is the big thing I want to point out?
The thing I'm trying to tell you is this:
YOU NEED TO CHANGE.
No, I don't mean a superficial change that most dating books tell you about.
For you to get the life you want you to need to forget women for now.
This is about you.
We need to get better.
And for that to happen we need to accept that it's not going to be a quick fix.
So where do we start?
We start with this:
Accept Everything The Way It Is.
Things might suck right now?
Are you struggling with women?
You cant find a date?
Women bounce on you or don't return your phone calls?
Maybe a woman dumped you?
Maybe several women dumped you?
Maybe women ignore you?
All that needs to be forgotten for now.
The first step is for you to understand that you are not good enough right now.
Everything about you needs to be improved.
Something needs to go.
The way you think needs to be evaluated and looked at.
But for now accept that things suck and that you will need to change it before things can get better.
That means forgetting about tricks, hacks, lies and bullshit.
It means getting ready for war.
War against your old self and the person you are going to leave behind.
And before you say but “I just want to be myself” forget that bullshit.
Look where “being yourself” has gotten you.
You have been programmed and conditioned by outside influences to live and act in a certain way.
And that is why you are reading this.
Become Very Selfish.
For the next 6 months at least the intense focus of everything you do should be about you.
And then the rest of your life it will be the same but only slightly more relaxed and adjusted as you move through life.
You need to be obsessed with your own life and success.
Your mission should be number 1.
The reason for this is simple: You can't help others if you are not strong.
You can't get better if you are not strong.
You can't be a good partner in a relationship if you re not strong.
Most men fail with women because they are too weak to see that women are manipulating them.
You can't attract what you want if you are not strong.
So for the next 6 months you need to start conditioning yourself to focus on yourself and improving everything about yourself.
Change Has To Become A Lifestyle.
Most people fail with change because they approach all change out of the frame of being temporary.
They start something new for example a “diet” or fitness program with the mindset of that being temporary.
Temporary means it's something they have to get through so they can get the prize.
Therefore they have already lost before they have even started.
For you to get what you want you to need to do things you have never done before.
To change your current results you need to change your current actions.
And by change I mean to embrace and make part of who you are.
Fine, then be extreme.
The key to everything in this process will be your mind.
Know this: You will fail.
And that is OK.
It's OK to fail and lose some battles.
But you need to win the war and that should be your focus.
In the beginning, your progress will be slow and hard.
Then you will get some momentum.
And then you will get a setback.
At this point most will quit and go back to the old ways.
Because that's the easy way out.
That is how they have been programmed their whole life.
The first sign of resistance and they run.
The first sign of fear and they run.
They have been programmed to just follow the scrips and rule-book of the matrix.
They have been trained by their feminine overlords to fall in line and be a good little boy.
Those days are over.
The start of your mindset training is starting the obsessive training of building your self-confidence.
The focus of this confidence is to ask 1 big question:
Who Are You Becoming?
If you look at your life now ask yourself this:
Who are you becoming?
If you continue on the path you have been walking in the past.
Who were you becoming?
You want to figure out how to be an attractive man,but be objective.
Take a step back and look at your life objectively.
In your job, career, relationships, health, fitness and everything else?
Are you in control?
Or are you just being a good little boy?
If you are not happy with where you are going then good.
So now decide where you want to go.
Make a clear picture in your mind of where it is that you want to go in life.
Don't hold back.
Let your imagination run wild.
Write it down on a piece of paper.
Dream like a King.
What do you want to do for a living?
What do you want to look like?
What type of person do you want to be?
Do you want to be more confident?
Do you want to be a better listener?
Do you want to be better with making conversation with strangers?
Do you want to travel a lot?
Do you want to be fit, powerful and flexible?
Do you want to be good in bed?
Do you want to be rich?
Whatever it is write is down.
Now take that piece of paper and read it to yourself.
Now commit to becoming the type of person that can turn that into reality.
Don't worry about the details, you can figure that out as you go along.
Good, now you know where you want to go.
Now you need to start working on your mind.
This starts with you becoming your own biggest fan.
You need to build super self-confidence.
You need to build a massive self-belief.
You need to give yourself a massive pat on the back.
Guess what nobody else is going to pat you on the back.
So you need to do it.
You need to love yourself like nobody else.
Because guess what?
If you don't love yourself then how do you expect others to love you?
This will be a process.
It will take time and sometimes you will feel like you are not making progress but keep working at it.
Being Yourself Is A Myth.
I remember when I used to be a loser trapped in the matrix going nowhere with my life.
I never heard any objections or people telling me to “just be yourself.”
But when I started to rise up and improve myself I started to hear all kinds of objections.
Suddenly people around me got uncomfortable.
They were saying things like:
“You are different these days”
“Why are you going to the gym?”
“What happened to the old John we used to know?”
“You are not being yourself”
You see suddenly my actions was a problem.
Now that I was exercising, eating healthy, and starting a business things got uncomfortable for them.
Suddenly people were “worried” about me.
Truth is they didnt give a fuck.
They were just worried that things are changing.
They wanted me to be that guy who was lost.
They wanted me to be a good little boy.
The one that went to parties with them every weekend.
The one that was overweight and unhealthy.
The one who had no future in his career.
They had no problem with that guy.
That guy wasn't a threat to their own realities.
See when you get better it makes them think about their own lives.
It threatens the status quo.
They don't like it when people start rocking the boat.
But you know what?
They were right to be worried about things changing.
Because they were changing.
I would never be the same again.
The truth is this:
You become whoever you choose to be.
We all have basic character traits.
Call it hardware if you want.
But the software is inserted by different sources:
By the way we are raised.
By the schools we go to.
By the environment we live in.
By the books we read.
By the blogs we read.
By the YouTube we watch.
By the music we listen to.
By the friends we hang out with.
By the news we watch.
This gets combined with the inner mechanisms of the mind that take those seeds and influences.
The mind doesn't judge your input.
It starts running and algorithm in your mind.
You created this algorithm without you even knowing about it.
What we consistently put in our minds becomes our reality.
The good news is you can change that algorithm by changing the software.
So you remove the “Just being yourself” software.
And you replace it with the software that you designed.
But here is the fork in the road or the hard part.
This process is not easy.
Because they want the magic pill and the quick fix.
It's a life long process.
It's not do it once and you are done.
Its not the diet you go on for 30 days.
It's who you become.
Again I want to use the diet analogy.
Most diets fail because its temporary.
Yes, you will see positive results quickly but that doesn't mean you are done.
It means you are just beginning.
You need to commit to that ideal of yourself.
Commit to that best version of yourself.
You need to decide who that person is and then go about executing on that idea.
Game Is Not the Beginning.
I'm not against all the old school Game/dating philosophies and techniques.
Some I find very helpful and valuable.
And others I think is useless.
But the point is this: Game should be built on your Mindset and not the other way around.
Most go for the Game first to get the girl.
This is short term thinking.
This is why a lot of guys use Game but then fail in their relationship.
They used Game techniques on women and got lucky.
The problem is that they where still the same scared insecure guy they always were.
They were still “being themselves” and that is the problem.
Women are very intuitive, they will expose your bullshit if it's not real.
“But John you said I should become someone else isn't that also not real?”
“Isn't that the same?”
No, it's not the same.
When you use lies and dishonesty to get the girl you are just misleading her.
But if you improve yourself through a process and become that new person by living that lifestyle of the new you then it's honest.
It's not who you pretend to be.
It's who you are now.
You are not static.
Think about a long-distance runner.
Before he started training he was “just being himself” right?
So then he becomes this super ultra runner.
Does that mean he is faking who he is?
He became that new version of himself.
Your mind is the same.
Your mindset and personality are not static.
You can choose to let it deteriorate or you can choose to improve it.
It's your choice.
This will be a process and in the beginning you will feel like you are “faking it” but that is how anything new feels.
But by staying consistent it will gradually become part of you.
You are transforming who you are and always evolving until the end of your life.
Whenever you think this is too much work remember the truth:
If you think the world is going to change itself for you then you will wait a very long time.
But if you accept responsibility and commit to improving yourself then you can get all the things you want.
So mindset is step one.
Your mindset will be the foundation.
Then you need to change the rest of your life.
I wrote a post about breaking free of the Matrix.
I wrote about what you need to do to leave your old life behind.
Let me just review some of those points.
The following things you need to start working on right now:
Know you have the foundation on how to be an attractive man.
You need to do whatever it takes to become the best version of yourself.
If you do this you will see your whole life-transforming in front of you.
You need to demand the absolute best of yourself and then demand the absolute best from the world around you.
Like I always say.
The clock is ticking.
Time is our greatest commodity.
So Take Action.
Remember everyone wants to be the guy with the nice car, the big house, and hot women.
But very few are willing to do the work to become that guy.
And you need to figure out how to be an attractive man.
Use the knowledge available and become the Giant that is locked up inside you.
Until next time.