Relationships are challenging, but most men make it more challenging than it needs to be.
The big reason for this is a lack of knowledge and inner weakness that has been cultivated by a modern culture that wants to keep men weak.
Most men have bought into the Hollywood script that tells them how to “successfully” act around women.
This advice is designed to put men in a weak postion in a relationship and put them on the back foot from day one.
But what is this weak mindset that most men bring to a relationship?
What is it that men do that makes them defeat themselves in dating and relationships?
Sharing Feelings And Opening Up
The Hollywood romantic movie culture has created the blueprint for most men on how to act around women and in relationships.
The main idea of the blueprint is the following:
Men shoudl open up about themselves from day 1 and tell her everything about themselves.
He is supposed to share his fears and vulnerabilities.
This includes his past failures in life and relationships and what he is looking for in women.
Most men think this is normal and “healthy”.
They have been convinced that this is the right thing to do.
They believe that telling her his feelings as soon as possible will make her fall in love with him and feel attraction to him.
The Men That Fall For The Trap
The reality is that it's a trap.
There are generally two groups of men when it comes to the “Hollywood script”.
The ones that open up on the first few dates are the lucky ones, usually, because they get rejected and don't see the women again.
The unlucky ones are the second group.
They are the ones that gradually open up on dates, and as soon as they enter a relationship they think it's now time to let the floodgates open and tell her everything about themselves.
The sharing feelings gate is the first one that open.
And as soon as this happens, the man gives away his sovereignty.
The man has now given away the one thing that gave him a lot of power and leverage:
His unpredictability and mystery.
These men are now trapped in a relationship where they really have feelings for these women but soon realize the spark that existed in their relationships is now gone.
And the harder they try to bring it back, the worse it gets.
The sex they use to have started getting less and less until, finally, there is nothing
The Reality Of Her Imagination.
What they dont tell you about the Hollywood script that indoctrinates so many men and women is that it's all fake.
Look, any long-term relationship is challenging.
And if you take away the one thing that sparks passion and attraction and expects a healthy relationship, then you are in for an unpleasant surprise.
A woman's seduction is based on her most prized possession, her imagination.
A woman's imagination is the one thing that gives her consistent pleasure.
Most men are unaware of this reality, so when they take away mystery in a relationship, they take away a big part of what sparks attraction in women.
When you tell her everything about yourself by sharing feelings, you remove uncertainty and mystery.
When you constantly tell her you love her, you devalue those words.
And then, taking away all value and mystery, she feels empty.
She Wants To Figure It Out HerSelf
What you should do is let her figure it out by herself.
Leave her clues, and don't talk in too much detail about everything.
Stop asking for permission and become a leader.
Don't tell her every little detail of your actions and movements.
She will tell you that she wants to know everything.
But what women say and what she really wants are 2 totally different things.
The Clues Are All Around You.
If you don't believe me and think I'm full of shit, then look at popular culture.
Women are the biggest consumers of mystery romance novels and love watching dramas.
As I mentioned many times before, there is a reason why Fifty Shades Of Grey is so popular and sold 1 150 million copies.
The reason is women love mystery, and uncertainty combined with Alpha men that they cannot totally control.
This is why women follow certain Instragam profiles of men that spark their imagination.
This is deeply ingrained in their DNA.
A long time ago, women used to wait for the warriors that were away on dangerous missions and this evolved these female brains to create stories and outcomes that gave them great pleasure.
Women get exposed to lots of Estrogen when they are in their mother's wombs.
This is just one of many aspects that make them different than men.
One aspect that developed differently is their overactive imagination.
Another aspect of the female brain is that they are a lot more emotional than men.
These emotions, combined with their strong imagination, are a pleasure for them.
Sexual pleasure for them starts in the imagination.
And if you take that away from them, you destroy attraction for them.
The Art Of Seduction
If you want to improve your dating,relationships and seduction as a whole, then you need to accept this reality and learn and adapt:
Stop Talking So Much About Yourself
A lot of men love talking about themselves they think this is how you attract women.
The more you talk about yourself the less there is to find out about you.
Think about it, if she knows everything little thing about you what is there to figure out?
Yes, I get it, in long-term relationships, people grow closer, but you dont need to give it all up.
Keep something for yourself and create some mystery.
That is what it actually means to work on a relationship.
Sharing Feelings Should Be Done Very Selectively
You don't need to constantly tell her how you feel about everything.
Your feelings are your business.
Let her share her feelings with you.
Your job is to show strength.
Yes, there is a time when you can tell her you love her, but don't constantly repeat it because you just take the value of it away.
She does need to know about your fears and doubts, that is your business.
Show your strength.
Be More Stoic
Being more stoic links up with the previous point.
You need to stop reacting emotionally to life.
We live in a time of emotional addiction where people get outraged about everything, and they can't control their emotions.
As a masculine man, you need to control your breathing and control your emotions.
This is how a warrior operates.
He doesn't cry when things get hard, he accepts it as part of life and something he must overcome.
Learn how to control your emotions by controlling your breath and doing challenging things.
Try Ice baths, which will spike your heart rate, then use your breath to bring it down
Don't Be So Predictable
You don't need to spell out everything about yourself.
You dont need to plan out every move for her.
She didn't need to know your every move.
Even if she demands it, it is your buiness to set up boundaries.
She only needs to know what you decide she knows.
Stop falling for the trap of “opening up”.
A masculine man leads.
Stop expecting her to lead and start taking control.
You can start simple, for example, next time you go out for dinner, just say, “Let's go we are going out for dinner”.
Dont ask her, tell her.
If she ignores you, then leave her right there and go out alone.
Make a line in the sand and show strength.
She will get the message.
Don't ask her where she wants to go, that is your decision.
Even if she says, “I dont like that,” just reply by saying, “I love that food,” and keep on driving.
So the art of seduction is more complex than the few guidelines I just mentioned, but just taking these actions will make a big positive change in your dating life and relationships.
The key is to hold a strong masculine frame and not be an open book.
Until next time.