I am not a “pick-up artist”. But I have learned some things about dating and social dynamics from people who call themselves pickup artists or dating coaches.
However the most valuable information about dating and relationships I learned from people that call themselves social scientists, anthropologists, biologists, and evolutionary psychologists.
And all this information taught me one very important thing. Success in dating and any other field in life comes back to 1 place. Your mindset.
More specificly, the beliefs you have about yourself.
The more you study the mind the more you see how easily influenced, undisciplined and untrained your mind is.
Humans have learned that to maintain a strong and healthy body we need to consistently work and maintain the fitness of our bodies.
But for some reason, most people think that the mind can just be let off the leash like a dog in the park and be allowed to run free.
The problem with that approach is that you end up with a modern society like the one we a currently experiencing.
A society where the dominant currency is emotion.
This overdose on emotions is caused by humans allowing themselves to exist in environments that condition their minds to be weak and easily manipulated.
What most people don't understand is that the unconscious mind is always listening, even when you are not consciously aware of it.
It's recording and interpreting everything that you get exposed to.
And then the mind takes the dominant and consistent message it gets, forms a pattern, and then it creates software that runs the mind.
To use most of modern society again as an example, most people think they are victims and think the world owes them something.
They have been brainwashed by social media, TV, movies, music, and their social environments to believe this.
This is the software that runs their lives. This all happens unconsciously.
But it goes further than that. A lot of conditioning starts when you are a young child.
It starts with your parents(most parents mean well, but they are also conditioned) schools, university, friends, etc.
These early influences lay the foundation for the other indoctrination that follows. Most of us dont have any control over our upbringing.
However, you have control over your actions now. You can make better choices and steer yourself in a different direction.
This brings me to the main point of this article.
If you want to have more success with women, dating, relationships, and just life in general then you need to start working on the limiting beliefs you have.
A lot of these beliefs you are not even consciously aware of but they play a big role in the way you go through life.
Limiting beliefs make you less confident and hold you back from going after what you really want in life.
The Lies Your Mind Tells You:
“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking. If we want to change the world we have to change our thinking…no problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.”
If you are suffering from low confidence then your mind is telling you lies about yourself. It also tells you lies about women and how they perceive you.
A part of the mind does this because it believes the weak software that has been installed by your conditioning and that leads the mind to go into self-defense mode when challenged.
If you are struggling to meet women or having problems with dating then you might have one or all of the following problems:
-You Are Isolated
You avoid social situations where you have to interact with strangers. You might have a form of social anxiety.
This is especially true for a lot of men when they are around attractive women. To get over this anxiety these men avoid social interactions and take very few social risks.
-You Lack Skills
What a lot of people don't realize is that the whole concept of “dating” has only been around for about a hundred years.
Before that, there were just random hookups and arranged marriages. The idea of dating is a relatively modern idea.
Even the idea of “romantic love” has only been around for about 300 years.
Before that, the world was a lot more chaotic, random, and violent. Of course, people had feelings but It was a lot more abstract and random.
So dont feel bad if you struggle with it, you can get better if you do the work.
But if you keep playing the victim then nothing will change. Just realize you are not alone and that a lot of men struggle with this.
Most men have no idea how to flirt, banter, and have fun with a woman.
Even fewer men know how to close the deal with a woman. And a very small group of men know if, when, and how to break up with a woman.
The divorce rates make this very clear. This leads to a general sense of low self-confidence in a lot of men.
As we speak there are millions of men struggling with women and dating.
But the even sadder thing is they do nothing about it because of their limiting beliefs and laziness.
Even worse a lot of men choose to become “simps”, male feminists, or “a woman's best friend”, with the hope that the women they secretly desire will eventually fall for them.
And when they realize this is not happening they just double down in their moronic efforts with the same disastrous results.
-You Have Limiting Beliefs
If you are struggling with women and dating then you have limiting beliefs about yourself.
Most men will reject this idea and act defensively because they lack introspection and have never truly evaluated why they have low self-confidence.
Men with limiting beliefs usually believe that women can just tell they are losers by looking at them. Their minds are consumed by the following ideas:
-I dont know how to talk to women
-I'm too fat/skinny
-She will reject me
-She won't like someone like me
-I'm not good in bed
Whether some of these ideas are true or not is not important.
What is important is that you keep repeating it to yourself.
Because the reality is all these points can be changed.
If you are fat, then change it. If a woman rejects you then talk to another woman or become better.
The bottom line is the messaging in your mind is the most important.
Because even if you change everything on that list and you still run that same messaging then you will get the same results.
How Do You Change Negative Programming?
It will take effort and work to change these beliefs because you have been programmed and conditioned over many years to believe a lot of lies about yourself.
When you go into those dark corners of your mind and shine a light on the lies your mind will resist the changes you try to make.
So don't be surprised when this happens.
It will be a mental struggle and the mind will try and convince you to stay safe and hold on to these old beliefs.
Just remember this:
Your best way of thinking has gotten you exactly to the spot you are right now.
It brought you to this place of loneliness and frustration.
So I suggest from now on be very suspicious of what your mind tells you about yourself, women, dating, and relationships.
Until you reprogram your mind and install new software be very aware of the motives of the ancient part of your mind.
That motive is only safety and survival. It is not your happiness.
When you start making changes expect your mind to say things like:
-“That is not true.”
-“Women are not like that.”
-“If I did that she would laugh at me.”
-“That might work for other men but not me.”
The important thing to remember is that when these voices come up is to stop and write down the negative messaging so you can become conscious of your own messaging so you can overcome it and change it.
“What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so.”
Change Will Be A Challenge.
Change is going to take work and effort. It's not a magic pill that will overnight solve all your problems.
You need to make a decision and commit to doing the work necessary to create lasting change. You need to take ownership of your situation.
One very important thing to remember when it comes to improving yourself and going to the next level in life is this:
You must be willing to be vulnerable as a beginner in any area of life to make progress and grow.
This goes for business, dating, martial arts, etc.
You must be willing to look like a “fool” for a short period of time and be vulnerable.
This is how growth happens. But most men let their egos stop them from growing because they dont want to look like a beginner.
If your ego is too big then you will get nowhere.
You need to change the way you think about yourself and the way you see the world.
That will take work.
If you want to learn more about how to consciously take control of your mindset and destroy your limiting beliefs get my audiobook Alpha Mindset.
In my book I share with you how you can go from a limiting view of yourself to a confident, driven individual who enjoys life and all the challenges it throws at you.
Let's Take A Look At What You Can Expect To See Inside Alpha Mindset.
- Why winning in life is a conscious choice
- How the mind machine works
- How you can reconnect with your full potential as a man
- Finding your mission in life
- Who dares wins
- Danger and the modern life
- The art of human maintenance
- Why you should stop asking for permission
- How to make better relationship choices
If you want to make a change and take control of your mindset and live life on your terms then get ALPHA MINDSET HERE.
Until next time…