When I go out to coffee shops,bars and other social places I enjoy watching people.
I especially enjoy watching how men and women interact with each other.
I like watching the social games being played and the body language involved.
I also talk with many female friends about their experiences with social dynamics and more especially first dates.
The stories they tell me about the guys they meet are funny and exposes the sad state most men are in.
Most men have no clue about women.
Well, they never take the time to learn anything about women, psychology, social dynamics, and human evolution.
So I thought its a good idea to make a list of the most common mistakes guys make when they go on first dates or just meet random women in a social situation.
These mistakes are based on my own observations and my female friend's stories.
So lets take a look at the problem with dating today:
Here is my list:
(1)They Talk About How Long It's Been Since They Had a Date or a Girlfriend .
As soon as you talk about this the girl's loser alarm goes off.
So forget about telling her about not having a girlfriend or a date for a long time.
Nobody cares that you are a virgin again. Keep on talking crap like this and you will stay single for a lot longer.
This is part of guys trying to get sympathy from the girl.
She will not give you sympathy.
If she is nice she will just move you into the friend zone.
If she is a 10 she will leave and you will never hear from her again.
(2)They Talk About How Women Just Don't Understand Them.
Again Nobody cares and you just tripped the loser alarm again.
I get it, you think you are special and that if women can just learn to know the “real you” then everything will be great.
For once stop talking about yourself as the poor misunderstood soul who just needs to find his “special someone”.
Firstly never use the words “special someone” and secondly the only thing you doing is telling her that nobody finds you interesting enough to spend any time with.
So stop doing it!
(3)They Talk About How Bad Life Is.
Stop Being The Victim Right Now!
Nobody cares about your sad stories.
Women have their own problems.
When they go on a date the last thing they want to hear is your problems.
Here is the reality: Nobody Cares!
She doesn't care and nobody else does.
We are surrounded by negativity all day online and in real life.
When women go on a date with a victim all they think about is how they can get the hell out of there.
Remember not everything is about you.
(4)Being Too Needy.
If you are a person that sucks all the energy out of other people by emotionally draining people then stop.
Stop asking her if “Is it OK if I call You later?
Stop Asking “Do you think I'm a Nice Guy?
Stop Asking “Is It OK With You If We Go To This Movie?
Stop Asking “Do You mind if I order a beer?”
Stop needing permission from her for every little thing you do.
Stop asking if its OK.
Stop asking if she is OK.
You are draining all the positive emotions from her by constantly asking her if you are good enough in everything you do.
If you don't like yourself then figure out how to change that.
She will not like you until you start working on your inner game by start liking yourself.
Remember, neediness kills attraction.
(5)Stop Trying To Impress Her To Get Her approval.
Guys try to impress a Girl by acting perfect and being nervous.
They do everything perfectly to just make sure she approves.
So you talk a big game and try to act perfectly in the hope that she likes you.
If everything you do and say it so she will like you then you are lost.
If she thinks you are so insecure to change yourself to please her, then its game over.
Have your own opinions about things and don't back down for anyone.
(6)They Think Looks Don't Matter.
Many of my female friends tell me about bad dates they go on.
Some of the most common things I hear from girls are things like:
He is fat.
He smelled bad.
He had hair growing out of his nose and ears.
He dressed terribly.
He was wearing white socks.
He had dandruff his hair was dirty.
His posture was terrible.
His nails were long and dirty…
The List goes on and on.
Looks matter, they matter a lot.
I'm not talking about genetic looks, although it's obviously helpful to look like a movie star.
I'm talking about taking what you have and turning that into the best version of yourself.
No women expect you to be perfect, but if you want to date high-quality women then you need your A game.
That means getting in shape, eating healthy, drinking less alcohol, changing your wardrobe and sorting out your grooming.
(7)They Don't Think They Are Good Enough.
Your Mindset Is Key.
You need to believe in yourself more than anybody.
When you constantly think bad things about yourself it will show in how you carry yourself as a man.
Negative emotions turn into heavy energy that blocks your confidence and strength.You need to take control of your mindset.
What thoughts are you consistently thinking about?
Are you allowing bad things to constantly fill your mind?
You become what you consistently think about.So get control of your limiting beliefs.
(8)They Don't Show The Best Version Of Themselves.
This is Not About Impressing Her.
This is about showing the world who you really are.
Be proud of being your best version.
Be proud of the way you live your life and the way you go through the world.
If you have nothing to be proud of then write out a plan and start executing on that plan.You need to get rid of your beta male conditioning.
Then start working on the best version of yourself.
Guess what ?
You will never reach your best version, but trying to reach that point means you are always improving.
(9)They Try To Buy Her With Gifts and Dinners.
Women will very quickly notice you are trying to buy her affection with gifts and dinners.
Women hate this type of thing.
I have seen this from many guys who thinks that if he takes her on one more expensive dinner then she will finally like him.
Women do the following:As soon as she figures out you are a chump who wants to buy her she will ride you like the little pony you are.
She will go on your dates and receive your gifts.
Her thinking is “If this poor idiot wants to buy me shit then I might as well ride this out until I get bored”.
Don't try to buy her.
It's insulting to her and yourself.
(10) They Treat Her Like She Is Already His Girlfriend.
Don't act all nervous and serious on a first date.
You are creating the impression that this is the last date that you will ever go on.
You are thinking that if you don't get this date right then your life is over and you will never meet another woman again.
She will notice very quickly that you are treating her like you are married already and she will never return your calls again.
A woman wants to go out with someone that makes her relax and have fun with.
Not someone that is having his last chance of happiness.
Here is the reality.
Most women you will go out with and meet is not right for you.
Most women you meet are dysfunctional and not a good match for you.
Most humans on the planet never try to improve themselves or get better.
Most women you meet will never do any work to improve themselves or their condition.
That means most women you meet are people you will not want to date or have a relationship with.
My point is that you don't need to take every date so seriously.
Stop being so needy and enjoy yourself.
It's just a date, not the last supper.
But when you meet the right one make sure you have done all the work on yourself and you are ready to roll.
Here is the bottom line of all dating.
Here is the bottom line of attraction.
Attraction is not a choice!
No women go sit down with her calculator and decide “OK, I want to be attracted to this guy”.
No, it just doesn't happen this way.
Attraction happens when a whole list of unconscious triggers goes off in a woman's brain.
The ancient attraction switches that have been part of humans since ancient times get triggered without her not even being conscious of it.
It is not a choice.
The question you should ask is the following.
How can I become the type of man that attract most women most of the time?
When you figure that out then you are always in the game.
So if you are in a position now where you are struggling with women then you need to stop looking outside of you for a solution.
Turn the camera on yourself and start doing the work that makes you a high-value man.
Make yourself you main priority by focusing on your personal development.
Until next time.