Improve yourself first if you want to have success with women and dating.
Self improvement will lead to successful relationships.
Forget about everything else.
If you are not having success with women and dating right now then it's your fault.
You need to change and get better.
This is usually a bucket of cold water in the face for most guys.
But its true, if your results with women suck right now then you suck right now.
The good news is you can change it if you change yourself first.
Nobody Cares About Your Success So Take Responsibility.
Don't try to change reality. You need to adapt to your reality, this is how humans become successful. If you think girls will eventually figure out how cool you are by staying the same then you will wait a long time.
Open Your Mind.
If you decide to stay the same because of arrogance that has given you nothing but pain, then get ready for more pain.
If you are not getting what you want right now then stop holding on to your beliefs about women and the unsuccessful methods you have been using.
So accept the reality as it is now, open your mind and change.
Define Your Major Purpose With Dating and Life.
What is it you want?
Do you want a long-term relationship?
Do you want to get married?
Do you just want casual dating?
Do you want to date many Beautiful women?
Whatever it is write it down on a piece of paper so you can look at it and figure out how to move towards it.
While you are at it start writing out your major purpose in every other area in your life.
This will help you get more confident in the direction you are going and taking more action and getting what you want.
You need to constantly get better, figure out what things you are doing wrong and change them.
Common Obstacles For Men.
Before approaching women, we get scared usually with stories in our heads about how bad it's going to go. We start using our imaginations to think how bad things will happen. So this becomes a mental habit.
The habit of thinking in fear and then this fear habit becomes our reality. We live life in the emotion of fear. So how do we overcome these negative emotional states and what are the reasons for them?
Negative Emotional States
(1)Most Negative emotional states have an evolutionary origin.
There was a time in our history when it made sense to be fearful when we go talk to women.
In caveman days it could mean being attacked by another tribe or killed by a lion while walking to your romantic meeting. Bottom line is those days are over. So we don't need those fearful feelings.
(2)Being scared gives us attention from others and make us not face challenges.
Its easier to talk about the girl with your buddy and make up excuses for why its probably a bad idea to talk the women.
This happens for many guys as soon as they walk into a bar. They get scared and can't talk to women. They go stand in a corner and don't talk to any women.
Create a More Positive Attitude
You need to shift your attitude to a more positive one. This sounds simple but ist powerful and will make a massive difference in how others perceive you.
Change the Feedback Loops In Your Mind
You need to create positive feedback loops so you can take control of this part of your life.
Your emotions have very big roots in your subconscious.So we need to look at the connection between the conscious and the subconscious mind.
There is a powerful feedback loop running between the conscious and unconscious minds.
The unconscious guides the conscious mind. However the conscious can also guide the unconscious if you choose to do so.
When a negative unconscious mind is running your life then you can be sure to have a lot of negativity in your life.
You have a choice to make, you can let it control you or you can take control back.
Remember your brain is not designed to make you happy. That is your job.
Subconscious control patterns get a build of over years of living unconsciously about how the mind works and doing nothing about controlling the mind.
Buddhists have been aware of this for thousands of years. This is the reason whey meditation plays such a massive part in their tradition.
The negative subconscious becomes very powerful when it has been left alone for years. It is possible to change it but it will take a lot of work and consistent effort to get the results you want.
How To Change The Feedback Loops.
You must start working at catching the negative programming and changing it.
For example, when you see beautiful women you think she won't like you, stop that thought and start thinking the opposite.
Start thinking, “she is probably going to like me a lot”.
When you see a gorgeous woman you automatically think she must be super confident.
But the truth is a lot super beautiful women are highly insecure and not as confident as you think they are.
The Negative Influence Of Others.
Don't let the people around you influence the way you see and approach women.
Focus on 2 things.
(1)Controlling Your Emotions or States.
A lot of guys start feeling stressed or nervous around women, fear starts coming up and makes them act stupid and stressed out.
You need to do some inner work and try to remember things that make you feel good.
Try to associate these good states when you go meet women.
Go sit down every day and visualize getting these great states whenever you go and talk to women.
(2)Start Visualizing Your Ideal Self.
Make it a daily practice to visualize your ideal self.
Go sit down and write down everyone you admire and the qualities you admire about them. Now go lie down with your eyes closed.
Put on some relaxing music. Music with no words that have a relaxing vibe.
Now start visualizing yourself having all those awesome qualities and how you act around other people with those qualities.
You need to be consistent with these exercises to get good results. Like anything in life, it takes work and consistency.
I Love Myself.
Start telling yourself, “I love myself”, 50 times every day. This might sound stupid and ridiculous but it works.
You need to start loving yourself because if you don't then how should other people love you?
There are 2 ways to do this. One is telling yourself “I love myself”.
And 2 is making a recording of it and listening to it every day while driving to work or before you go to bed.