I'm not talking about a breakup with a girl you dated for a month or 2.
I'm talking about a breakup with a long-term girlfriend of a year or more.Someone you cared about a lot.
You will be alone.That's one of the most significant differences between men and women.
That is the reality.
Contrary to popular belief breakups are worse for men.
It does not matter if you were screwing around or she was.It does not matter if the two of you broke up after a discussion and thought it was time to break up as “friends”.
The reality is that she will move on a lot faster than you.Sure there are exceptions to this like in anything, but in general, you are fucked for a lot longer than she is.
I know a lot of guys will say bullshit, but here is the reality.
The girl (especially if she is hot, a 8,9 or 10)can find a new guy within a week or even the same day.
I'm not saying she will, but she could if she wanted.
She can walk into a nightclub and get 50 guys phone numbers who want to sleep with her or potentially be her boyfriend without doing anything except looking hot.
Reality For Men
The reality for you is more brutal.
In general, you will have to game girls and do the chasing.
But guess what?You are rusty.You have been out of the dating scene for months or even years of being in a relationship.
You are probably a little screwed emotionally after the debacle, and your confidence is not where it should be.
So you hit on some girls and you get rejected.
Suddenly the cold, hard reality punches you in the mouth.
The club is not as nice as you thought it was going to be and you have flashbacks of lying on the bed with your girlfriend.
You feel like someone just ripped your balls off and ran over them with a truck.
Welcome to the hard reality of men.
We need to accept this and embrace it as part being a man.Don't feel sorry for yourself, just know it's going to suck.It's going to suck a lot.
So before you start crying like a little bitch, take a deep breath.It's going to be OK, but it's going to suck.
It should suck, its evolution it's in your DNA to feel like shit when you lose a female that you bonded with.
There is a misconception in modern culture that men are cold bastards.
Sure, we are cold bastards sometimes but men form very deep bonds with women they care about, and when things go bad they feel it.
We all know its true.This is the duality of men.We do fuck up a lot but when we bond with a woman we go deep.
Even modern psychology is of opinion that men suffer more than women when things go bad.
So what to do when you go through a breakup?Well, I want to say avoid alcohol, but I know most of you won't.
So go out one night and get the drinking out of your system.Go with a friend so that you don't punch someone in the face.
While you are out, talk with your friend about what happened, and get it out of your system.Get everything off your chest.
Don't keep it inside or you will become the annoying guy who talks about his ex all the time with everyone he meets.
I sometimes run into guys that just talk about their ex and the breakup.Just Stop!It's annoying!
Then do the following:
(1)Get rid of all the things that remind you of her.Like pictures and other stuff.
(2)Don't call her, that is going to be hard and I have done it before but its a mistake.Don't drunk dial.
(3)Make the gym and general fitness the cornerstone of your recovery.
(4)Eat healthily and again avoid alcohol for a few months.
(5)Accept the suck.Its sucks but try to keep your mind off it.Spend time with friends and stay busy with work.
(6)After a few months of getting emotionally stable get back in the game.
(7)Don't make the breakup the “story of your life” with everyone you run into.Its boring and your story is not special.Don't be that guy!
The Breakup should be something that you learn from and make you stronger.
Every breakup I have been through in the past made me stronger.
Take the lessons from the relationship, learn and grow from it.
You have to improve as a man so that you can be a better man in your next relationship.
Sure if you feel like going out to meet a girl for fun go for it.
But try to avoid anything serious for up to 6 months.
You need to get your shit back together.
You don't want to take your baggage into a new relationship.
So let things calm down emotionally and think about where you can improve when you go into a next relationship.
The truth is that as soon as you meet a new awesome girl, the other girlfriend will be a distant memory.So stop obsessing over the one ex-girlfriend and move on.
You have to cultivate an abundance mindset and remember that there are millions of girls out there.
All you have to do is get out there and play the game.