A lot of men have no idea how to have Game as a man. In fact, most don't even realize something like Game exists.
Most think “some guys are just lucky.: The reality is that most men have no idea how attraction really works.
If you could be a fly on the wall and listen to the average conversation that happens between a man and a woman who just met then you will soon realize how bored women get.
The scenario is usually one where a woman gets bombarded with a list of boring questions that takes the man nowhere:
“What's your name?”
“What do you do for a living?”
The guy might be thinking he is going somewhere because she is answering him but the reality is he is going nowhere.
What the guy doesn't know is that the woman he is talking to has answered those questions thousands of times.
The scenario ends like this:
After she answered all the questions things get quiet, she loses interest and she starts looking around the room looking for a way to get away from this guy.
Seeing the whole situation going up in flames he desperately tries to rescue it by asking for her phone number before she leaves.
She smells his desperation to get her number and she says “I'm already seeing someone, sorry.”
This is a lie but one she needs to tell to get away.
This is the scenario that plays off for most men who don't know anything about how to have Game.
Why Happened And Why?
The best way to describe what is happening is to go and watch an old clip of the comedian Chris Rock.
In the video clip, he talks about the reality for women.
He says that women get offered “dick” every single day.
He goes on to say every time a man is being nice to a woman all she hears is:
“How about some dick?”
This is the world women live in.
She sees you coming.
Therefore women have their defenses up when a man starts talking to them.
Our task as men is to get past her defences without her noticing.
This is where dating Game come in.
And for those of you that don't know what dating Game is let me give your quick explanation: Game is a social skill set to be more attractive to women.Its using social intelligence to reach your objectives.
So we use Game to get past a woman's defences.
More specifically we use something known as Indirect Openers.
How To Have Game As a Man: Indirect Openers.
An indirect opener is a way to start a conversation with a woman or a group of people without directly hitting on her.
In other words, you show no direct romantic interest in anyone.
Good Indirect Openers.
A good opener makes no one uncomfortable and it's non-threatening.
It's a platform for you to show your personality
It creates curiosity
It serves as an doorway for you to continue your conversation.
You might be thinking this is “unnatural” or “will never work”, but the reality is that most men's problems with dating are that they reject solutions to their dating problems because “it feels weird.”
Keep an open mind and try something new. If you are reading these words then you are looking for a solution to your problem.Maybe you are going out alone to get laid and need a plan?
I'm giving you one right now,so go with it.
Remember, if you are struggling with dating life or you are new to Game then having a prepared opener will take a lot of the think work out of the way and make it possible for you to start talking to women with a system in place.
Of course, when you get better with the game you will get to a point where you can say anything and make it work because you mastered your inner and outer game.
But to get to that point you need to do some work and get some wins.
And getting wins means approaching women, opening, and then closing the deal.
You need to close a few deals before you build momentum.
Then your confidence will come and you will learn more about the different levels of the dating Game.
But for now, you need to prepare something for you to get the ball rolling. Later you can change it up.
You can have 2 or 5 openers that you can rotate and see what works best for you.
The methods I'm sharing here are old School Game methods, in my opinion they are best for someone struggling with dating life or someone new to Game.If you have low self esteem then Game will help you overcome that.
So it might feel “weird” and out of your comfort zone, but like I said earlier try just go with it, try something new and see where it take you.
Remember,you want to date beautiful women,so overcome your limiting beliefs.
Going out alone to get laid? Remember Game Starts Before The Game.
Remember, women are social creatures and in general have high levels of social intelligence.
They evolved to notice and analyze men before they approach or even say a word.
This doesn't mean she is always right, it means she will be able to identify potential weaknesses especially if you are unaware of your own shortcomings and have done no or very little inner work.
So let's look at some points to keep in mind:
- Have A Life
You should live a life that is always more important than meeting women.
If you are out at a bar and all you do is stare at women and look around like a Meerkat then you are already losing.
If you seem desperate to meet women then she sees you as someone that is not used to getting women and you will seem creepy.
So build confidence and a Alpha Male mindset.
- Social Value
Social value matters, it matters a lot.It's attractive to have social value.
That is why women love Instagram and celebrities.
Therefore as soon as you enter a venue have conversations with your friends and show your social value.
If you go out alone have a conversation with the bouncer or bartenders.Hold brief eye contact when greeting peoplem,be confident.
Show you are comfortable in your own skin and socially valued.
You don't have to go over the top with this, but don't stand in the corner talking to nobody, that looks creepy.
- Don't Go Direct
When you approach don't face her directly when you start talking.
This is about using intelligent body language and not being threatening.
For example, if she is standing at a bar then go stand next to her facing the bar,dont face her, and then talk over your shoulder.
If she is standing in the open then pretend you are on your way to the bathroom and then pause to open the conversation over your shoulder.
The bar opener is my favorite and I highly recommend it for guys who are new to the game.
You go to the bar and order a drink right next to her and while you open you also have friendly banter with the bartender serving your drink.
This works well because you are just a guy ordering a drink and having fun.
- Don't Lean In
Do not lean into her or try and force yourself into a group or circle.
The reality is you can't open every group or set you see.
You will have many opportunities and take the ones that make sense. This will come with time in your dating life.
- Choose a good location
This links up with the previous point.
A lot of people like to Game in clubs and that's fine.
But my personal opinion is that clubs are terrible for game, especially if you are new to Game.
I prefer bars because you dont have to shout to get your point across.
Another thing to keep in mind when you start out with game is to remember to choose a venue that helps your strong points.
For example, if you are a young 20-something student and you go to a bar next to a Law Firm where 30-year-old professionals hang out then your chances are lower to be successful.
Rather go to a university bar.
On the other hand if you are a 30 or 40-year-old guy, don't go to a university bar, you will seem like the creepy older guy who is still trying to relive his glory days.
You get the point!Find a venue where you will have the best chance of having success.
So do your homework and figure it out.
Another thing to keep in mind is to dress appropriately for the type of place you are going. You need to look the part.
When you get more advanced this won't matter so much, however, starting out with this approach will make this a lot easier for you to learn Game in an environment that suits you.
- Be Open And Friendly
Have a friendly open attitude with a slight smile on your face when you approach her.
Im not a guy that naturally smiles a lot but I force myself to adapt to my environment when in social situations.
Remember you are her stranger to her. So be as nonthreatening as possible.
You don't need to a clown, that's stupid.
Just be relaxed,make eye contact,be friendly with a warm expression on your face.
Once you are in the conversation you can let go of the smile.
Just be relaxed.
- Be Conscious Of Your Energy
You need to have a similar energy level to the woman or group you are approaching.
You don't need to worry too much about this in the beginning, just don't bring the group down with negative or too serious energy.
She is probably out to have fun, so don't spoil it for her.
Women are extremely sensitive to this ,a lot more than men.So make sure you enter a venue with a positive energy.
What Is A Good Indirect Opener?
The most important part of being successful with a opener are the folowing:
- Be interesting
- Be curious
- Be spontaneous (Or at least give the impression of spontaneity and don't stand in the corner and stare before you approach)
- Don't open with a question
Never begin with a question because if she says no to the question you are out. So start with a statement and then move into your question.
“Let me get your take on this”
Once you got her attention continue with your opener.
And never start with “excuse me” or “I'm sorry”, you will seem desperate and low value.
Remember women are attracted to confidence and status.
And a confident high status Alpha Male never apologies for starting a conversation.
Do you think James Bonf will ever apologise for starting a conversation?Of course not,so stop apologising and overcome your social anxiety.
The Opinion Opener
The opinion opener is a well-known game technique and has thousands of variations with guys making up stories to open with.This method has a high success rate so dont tell yourself. “This will never work.”Just do it!
But let's give you a basic simple opener you can work with to start learning the Game:
Pretend you just got off the phone and say the following:
You:”Let me get your take on this”
You:”Just chatted with my best friend on the phone who lives in Spain.
He has a bit of drama in his life at the moment and I'm not sure how to help him, maybe you can give me your take on it.
So what would you do if you've been dating a guy for 2 months and he doesn't want you to spend time with a male friend of yours that you've known since you were in high school?
And let's assume you are just friends, how would you handle it?
How would you react if your boyfriend told you to stop seeing him?
Her: I would probably leave him since the other guy is an old friend since high school.
You: Yes but get's tricky, they used to date in high school. Does that change things?
Her: Well that complicates things. Some people you can't just be friends with. So it depends on the individual.
You: So let me tell you why I'm asking you this. My friend in Spain is the one with the old school friend and his girlfriend wants him to stop seeing his old friend who used to be his girlfriend. But they are only friends now, but it's still damaging their relationship.
Her: If that happened to me…..
Remember the key of the story is not the words.
The key is your attitude and the emotions you stir up in her with your story.
So don't worry too much if you don't get it perfect the first few times you try it out.
The key for you is to work on your mindset and confidence and keep practicing the story until you perfect it.
Also, be prepared to answer questions about your opener.
She might ask questions and you should be able to answer.
For example, she might ask what your friend do in Spain, so be ready with an answer.
You might feel fake for making up a story to meet women, but its just a tool you use to show your real personality.
Don't let people tell you “it's bad to use Game.”
Men need tools to be more interesting to women, and Game is that tool.
Remember girls get breast implants, color their hair, and wear make-up.
Is that fake?
No, its a tool to attract men.
So it's a game and we are all playing it, so you might as well become very good at the game and start winning.
After The Opener
So now you opened successfully and the two of you are in conversation.
Keep a positive warm attitude.
And be cocky and funny but not clownish.
There is a big difference.
If the conversation warms up and you feel it's going somewhere and the two of you have good energy then keep going.
If you feel the energy flowing away from you and this gets uncomfortable then stop and cut the conversation.
Remember you will not be successful in every open you make.
That is ok, just try again with someone else.
The last thing you want to do is become desperate and cling on to her like she is the last woman on the planet.
So let's assume everything went well with the opener and there is a spark of interest.
You want to turn that spark into a fire.
And the way you do that is to demonstrate your value to her.
That means you want to be interesting and cool enough that she wants you to hang around and get to know you better.
In fact, you want to be so interesting that she starts thinking this is her lucky night.
However, if you are new to this you might have to do a lot of work until you get to this point.
But you have to start somewhere so just focus on staying in the game for now.
The reason you have to demonstrate value is to show her that you are a man worth spending time worth.
Remember, you are a stranger to her and she is also out on a mission to meet a high-value man, so in her mind, she asks herself,”Why should I talk to this guy?”
She could potentially meet someone better and that is why you need to show you are a man of value with most women.
This is especially true with very attractive women.
If she has a lot of value why should she settle for average if she can get anything she wants?
Therefore you need to do some work.
And one of the best ways to do this is to show her who you are by making her day better or more interesting.
Keep in mind, that women get bored very easily and mostly lead boring lives.
So if you can shake things up by being different than the average chump she usually meets then you can spark serious attraction.
The Ring Routine
This is another old-school game technique that works very well.
It works well because as mentioned earlier most women's lives are boring but more importantly girls love mystery and intrigue.
So before you say “John that's stupid that will never work”, let me tell you why you fail with women.
You fail because you think like an average man.
You need to start placing yourself in the mind of a woman.
You must master social dynamics.
In other words, stop using your logical filter, and start using your irrational filter to understand how she experiences reality.
Always keep in mind that women filter reality through their emotions.
And your job is to awaken strong emotions in her.
This is the reason we use these routines, to spark emotion.
So put your judgemental logical brain to the side for the moment and try something new.
So this Ring Routine is just one of thousands of possible routines, but this is a solid “old-school” beginner routine, so try it out and develop it as you go along.
The important thing to remember is that it's not the routine that matters, it's the feeling you create with it.
If you do this well you will get very lucky when you go out.
So let's start with the routine.
You: “I have to leave soon after finishing this drink but can I ask you why you chose to wear your ring on that finger?”
Her: “No reason.”
You: “That's interesting. Well, do you always wear your ring on that finger?”
Her: “Yes (or sometimes)”
You: “A good friend of mine is a very spiritual person and she showed me something interesting the other day. She said that the finger you choose for your rings tells you something about your personality. It sounded a bit weird but afterward, I was pretty impressed with how accurate it was.”
If she doesn't have any rings, just do the opposite:
You:“I notice you don't wear any rings?”
And continue the same routine but just add the following:
You:“She taught me that not wearing any rings says a lot about your personality”.
So whatever way you choose(rings or no rings ) let continue with the story:
You: “A long time ago in Ancient Greece they lived a lot closer to the natural world than we do today. And for them, each of the mounds at the top of the palm represented a different ancient God” In those ancient times people would wear their rings on specific fingers to honor a specific god.”
“For example, your thumb is Poseidon, the God of the Sea. Poseiden stands for independence. Therefore people wearing rings on their thumbs are generally more independent. The deeper significance is how the thumb is also apart from the other fingers.”
“Your index finger represents Zeus who was the king of the gods. He represents dominance and power. People who wear rings on this finger usually lead and take charge.”
(If she says that doesn't fit into her personality just say it means she is subconsciously trying to cultivate that quality)
“Your middle finger represents Dionysus, the god of partying and wine. Dionysos was all about freeing people from their inhibitions. So if you wear a ring on this finger then you are probably the type of person that tends to do whatever you want without caring what other people think.”
“Your ring finger represents Aphrodite. She was famously the goddess of love. This is the reason why people wear wedding rings on this finger. Another interesting thing about this finger is that there is a vein in it that leads straight to the heart. So it represents deep connections.”
“Your pinky finger represents Ares, the god of war. That is why gangsters or fighters wear a ring on the pinky. These people are in conflict with something outside them or it could be inner conflict about their past.”
(If she is wearing no rings then add the following to the story)
(No Rings extra)“People who wear no rings in ancient times meant they wear aligned with Hermes the messenger. Hermes was the messenger of the Gods. Hermes represented wealth and exotic travel. For Hermes, it was only the best of the best in terms of luxury. But he was very giving and helpful but also the most adventures of all the Gods. So if you wear no ring it means you tend to love adventure, travel, and new experiences.”
Building Comfort And Playing With Her Emotions
Let's assume she is getting comfortable with you and she is starting to enjoy having a conversation with you.
Now its time to bring up more “normal” conversation,so ask her some questions:
“So you from around here?”
“What do you do for a living”
So this is a way to get to know her better and see where you can connect with her and even show more of your value.
But keep something very important in mind:
You must keep your Masculine Frame intact and stay relaxed, confident and non-needy.
In other words, don't push her too aggressively and don't become desperate in your actions.
You must cultivate a mindset of abundance and that you are the prize, not her.
I get that sounds like a contradiction in the context of learning game, but this is about you believing you are a man of value and she should be feeling lucky to meet a man like you.
Remember if she senses you are a needy, low-value chump she will walk away and disappear.
So if you are feeling low on confidence at the moment then you must start doing the inner work.
However, it's natural to feel doubt creeping into your mind while you are communicating with a woman when you start learning game.
Don't let this stop you, keep moving forward, and dont be afraid to lose.
When you stop being afraid to lose her you will get a lot more relaxed and confident.
This is how you will build more confidence.
So let's get back to the conversation:
So you are asking her questions and the two of you are talking and learning more about each other.
I mentioned earlier that you should keep your frame of being a confident, abundant man of value.
Therefore stay cocky, interesting and fun, and don't just agree with everything she says.
If you disagree with her make fun of some of her points in a fun and playful manner.
This is known in Game as a Neg.
You:” So what do you do for a living”.
Her:” I just started my first year as a Lawyer in New York”
You:“I guess that's nice..ha ha”(teasing laugh)
The example shows her that I'm not there to just please her, I'm willing to take the risk to get my thoughts across in a playful and fun way.
This will make her feel more comfortable when she sees you are not just trying to sleep with her by pleasing her.
So now you are in the conversation, but that doesn't mean you just going to automatedly sleep with her.
You need to show more value that as a man.
But you can't just stop her in a conversation and list 10 qualities that make you awesome.
No, we use storytelling to indirectly show our value and spike her emotions.
For example, I use a story of my past where I tell her about the time I was working on a yacht for a billionaire in the South of France and I talk about how crazy the parties got when I was working as a deckhand and we traveled all over the Mediterranean.
My story goes like this:“One party near the end of my year in France was absolutely inane.
When fashion week ended in Paris,a group of designers and about 20 models spent a weekend with us on the yacht and things got insane.
The final night I ended up with 5 models in a hot tub and we had a lot of fun, most of which I will not talk about here, since gentlemen dont kiss and tell, but what I will tell you is that one of the girls brought a bag of cocaine and things got even crazier.
Music pumping, naked girls and me. Crazy times!
Unfortunately, one of the girls had a little bit too much and ended up not feeling well, so I stayed with her and helped her until she felt Ok and took her to bed to get some rest.
Everything worked out great in the end.
But that was one of the craziest nights of my life. Fun times and great memories!”
By the way, I did work on the yachts in the South of France and partied with models, so it's easy for me to bring this story into the conversation.
For example, I could ask her if she traveled.
And if she talks about Europe I lead it to my France story.
That is why we ask questions so we get opportunities to tell our interesting stories.
My story subconsciously tells her a few things about me:
- I'm interesting and live a cool life. (status)
- I am well traveled.(adventure)
- I have hung out with models and it seems normal for me.(preselection)
- I like having fun. (good feelings)
- I know my way around a yachts and billionaires.(high value)
- I know how to help people when things go bad. (compassion)
- I look after women when things go bad.(caring)
And most importantly this story when told in a good way spikes her emotions.
It excites her.
Because remember women are very closely connected to their imagination and emotions.
And if you can bring both to the surface for her you win.
So as you continue having a conversation and having fun it will lead to attraction.
If you reach this point of attraction you need to step up.
Taking Action And Closing The Deal.
So you have done most of the work but now you must do your part and make things happen.
There are thousands of different scenarios of how this can play out but lets assume you are still sitting at the bar with her.
You have now spiked her emotions with your stories and you feel she is interested and you must now see how interested.
A simple way to test the wasters is to touch her hand.
But don't be awkward, just touch her hand look her in the eyes and keep on talking to her.
If you feel is she is comfortable with you holding her hand.
The next move on your part is to go for the kiss.
Again, there are hundreds of variables here.
Sometimes you won't go for the kiss because you feel it's not happening or you guys didnt connect.
However, if you test the water with her hand and you feel the moment is right, go for it.
If she turns her head, fine.
At least now you know and you can learn from the situation because maybe you screwed something up.
Or she kisses you back and your night ends very well.
So this is the basics of the Game for a beginner or someone new to the basic structure of the game.
The reality is that most people think that attraction just happens.
And sure, you might get lucky sometimes, but if you want to be consistently successful with women and dating then you need game and you need to work on it and improve until it becomes part of who you are.
Remember you are reading these words then it means what you have done in the past hasn't worked for you, so now it's time to try something else.
So become an attractive man by doing some work on yourself.
And Get in the Game.