People like to say what you put in is what you get out.
But this is why most people end up disappointed.
They look outside themselves to change things in their lives.
I think the statement “what you put in is what you get out ” should be changed to the following:
“What you put into Yourself is what you get out in life. “
The only true transformation can happen when you change.
The only change in direction in life happens when you accept the fact that you have to transform.
Personal transformation is your responsibility and your duty.
To Improve Your Life You Need To Transform every area of your life.
When it comes to success with dating and relationships men look for the quick fix.
They want the magic pill.
They want that one-liner, the bullshit story or some way to logically persuade someone to like them.
This way of thinking never lasts because it isn't real.
Real change is only possible if you stop looking for superficial solutions to your dating problems.
The biggest problems with superficial solutions are that even if you get away with them in the short run they will catch up to you.
I have seen this many times.
Guys lie to women and then a year later she finds out the truth and the whole house of cards start falling apart.
So he is back to square one and walks around like a wounded animal.
But even after that many guys do the same thing
They try the same bullshit fake life stories and building fake relationships.
You don't just fuck up yourself but you also hurt the people you pull into this toxic web of horseshit.
If they don't go into fake relationships then they go into a fake life.
Don't Settle For Mediocrity
With fake life I mean they give up.
They settle for anything.
They do it because they gave into fear.
Fear that they will never meet another girl or they fear that time is running out.
They look around them and see people getting married and having relationships.
So fear starts fucking them.
They look at those people and think “I have to get that with anyone I can find.”
This is one of the reasons you see so many divorces because a lot of times it ends in misery.
They Choose Fear
Whatever the fear is it leads to unhappiness.
It leads to unhappiness because everything that is built on fear ends up in misery and depression.
Guys in relationships like these usually end up in depression or even worse a lifetime of being trapped.
Trapped with a person you don't care about and a life you hate.
Why did they choose this life?
Well, they let go of courage and chose fear.
The thing is that it takes courage to transform yourself and to become a better man.
It takes work and perseverance.
Fear is easy, you just give into it.
No fight, no struggle. Just slow strangulation for many years until your heart stops beating.
Its also known as mediocrity.
These men are dead long before there their bodies give in.
They died the day they stopped dreaming and living with courage.
They died when they stopped thinking big.
You cant hope for a healthy relationship of any kind if its build on an unstable foundation.
If your life is full of shit and you pretend to be someone that you are not then you will crash.
You might get away with it for a while but it will catch up an destroy everything.
Commitment To Transformation
The only way we can change our success with women and dating is by transforming ourselves into someone that you can be proud of.
Someone real, someone you have respect for.
This is vital!
You need to respect yourself before anyone else can respect you.
You need to confront yourself.
For me, this was a major turning point in my own life.
I started looking for dating advice 10 years ago and it ended up leading me to Self Improvement and transforming my whole life.
I started with superficial stuff like pick up lines but soon realized I was missing the point.
Game (dating advice) has many forms but I started with the superficial game and it gave me nothing.
I Needed Inner Game
I needed something else, I needed a total transformation.
The truth was I had major problems in my life.
I Lived In Fear
I was broken and I thought for some reason that if I got a girlfriend or dated many women it would fix me.
The worse thing is I was willing to pull women into this toxic mess.
The problem with having a toxic life is that you take the toxic stuff with you.
When you bring someone into your life you share that with them and then it leads to disaster.
Lucky for me I didn't do it for too long before I got some great mentors that exposed my bullshit and forced me to take responsibility.
I had 2 choices at that point in my life.
The first was to just keep on pretending that I was fine and destroy other people on my delusional path of destruction.
Or I could take responsibility for my life and transform myself.
If I wanted to change I had no choice but to confront myself.
I had to face up to the demons and shadows of my past.
We all have a past that haunts us in one way or another.
We usually carry this baggage with us.
The problem is this baggage gets heavier and heavier as we go forward.
It eats at you and drags you down.
The only way to get rid of it to confront it by real change and transformation.
There a no half measures.
The reason why people choose not to transform themselves is simple.
It's hard, very hard.
It feels a lot easier in the moment to live a bullshit lie.
Because facing the real you is painful.
The person that you know is inside.
The one you push down and hide from the world.
Until you stop and take that person into the cave of your demons and shadows you will suffer.
The transformation will expose you and make you uncomfortable.
It's not a magic pill, it's a process and it takes time.
However, the rewards are massive.
When you are a transformed man people can sense it.
They sense they are dealing with someone real.
With this transformation, you build confidence and focus.
You start walking around with your head up again, you get your pride back and you start walking tall.
You start becoming a man women want to be around.
You start becoming someone women want to date and have a relationship with.
When you transform you become someone of high value.
This is the key!
Your value will change everything.
This you can't fake.
Your value will be attractive to the people around you.
This is what it means to transform yourself as a man.
You build yourself into a man of value.
It will take a lot of work and the road is long but you will be someone that people look up to.
Yes, this is a blog about mindset.
This is where everything starts. In our minds.
We all have been programmed since childhood to think and act in a certain way.
Some programming is so strong that if you mention words like self-improvement or man transformation they get defensive.
The people who need it the most will be the ones who run the fastest when they come across personal development.
I used to be one of those people.I thought I was too good for that stuff.
I had this fake modesty bullshit.
If someone came to me and said “Hey check out this Tony Robbins book” I would avoid it.
I would say something like “That guy is full of shit” or ” I don't need that crap, I'm good”.
The Truth About Myself
The truth was that I knew nothing about Robbins except that he was over the top and some self help guru.
In my circle of friends, we looked down on “those” types of people.
We thought we were too good for it.
We thought we had it all figured out.
Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong.
Tony Robbins later become one of the guys that helped transform my life.
In reality, I was a judgmental ass who didn't know what I was talking about.
I thought I was educated but I wasn't.
My programming was so bad that I rejected anything and anyone that tried to help me or be a positive influence.
I would reject people like Robbins without even reading a page of their work because I wanted to be cool.
I was clueless and pathetic.
Not All Self Help Is Good
Now I'm not saying all self-help is good.
Sure there is a lot of fluff and bullshit.
But there is a lot of good solid work out there that will help you to transform your life.
It's up to you to be open for change and find the right mentors whether it be in real life, books, blogs, video or podcast.
This planet is filled with knowledge left here by men far greater than us.
It's our responsibility to find the stuff that works for us and let the rest go.
Your time on this planet is limited.
It's your responsibility to create the best version of yourself.
The clock is ticking so start now.
Then go out into the world and walk like a giant and leave a massive impact on this place.
Most Will Do Nothing
Most Will do Nothing
Or will you be on of the few that transform your life and live the life of your dreams?
If you choose to transform yourself you will be living a life of confidence, discipline, and power.
More importantly,you will be Free.