Today I want to talk about how men destroy their dates and relationships.
This includes any type of relationship men get involved with like short term dating, one night stands, long term relationships, and marriage.
How do men kill the attraction they had in the initial contact with women?
Well, a weird thing has been happening in our culture the last 50 to 60 years.
In this time men have been indoctrinated by mainstream culture(Hollywood, universities, etc) to think in a certain way.
This mental model was molded by feminists,and academics to take power away from men.
But I'm not going to get into the detail of power today.
But I will tell you why you lose that girl you dated for a week.
Yes that girl that gave you the impression that she is interested and then nothing happened.
That girl that make men say things like, “It was going great but now she won't return my calls.”
What Happens With Most Men.
So this is what happens with most men on a date or relationship.
Remember the feminist mindset that has been conditioned in the culture has now been set in stone in the man's subconscious.
So the guy goes on a date. Let's say for example they go for dinner on their first date (already a mistake) and they start talking.
The guy starts talking about himself.
He tells her everything about his life.
He tells her about his past and his future dreams. He tells her about his fears, vulnerabilities and challenges.
He tells her about how hard his work is and how hurt he was in his past relationships.
He talks about how he is trying to “heal” his past relationship pain.
He puts all his cards on the table.
Of course this full disclosure doesn't just happen with men on the first date.
It could happen over a few weeks, a month or a year.
But it all means one thing.
It's killing attraction.
Then they get the text or phone call to tell them it's over.
Or he sees her walking around with some other guy in town.
Then he thinks “What the fuck happened? Things were going so well!”
This “opening up” that guys were taught by Hollywood movies and TV shows is the biggest mistake men make.
They think that if they open up and tell her everything that she will love him for it and that he will get a pass to that great ass she carries around.
This “opening up” mistake is based on another misunderstanding of women: Men think that women want the whole truth…..Big mistake.
Something else happens when you “open up” and tell her about your past heart breaks, disappointments and hard times at work.
When you talk about these things she sees weakness.
Women are genetically programmed to look for strength in their partners and a man crying about his broken heart shows weakness.
Yes, I get it life hurts and sometimes we get our hearts broken. But keep it to yourself. You don't have to tell the world about it.
Women don't want full disclosure from a man.
She might say “I want to know everything.”
But this is in her nature as a woman.
She might tell you “Tell me everything”.
But she doesn't really want you to tell her everything.
The unknown is what interests her.
This is exactly the thing that sparks attraction in women.
This unknown factor or mystery.
This brings us to the imagination.
For women the imagination is their most trusted asset.
They love imagining things, dreaming about mysteries and the unknown.
It gets their emotions fired up.
They feed off their emotions.
That is why women love romance novels, soap dramas and books like 50 Shades of Gray.
The story-line is always the same.
The mysterious alpha that she has to figure out.
The guy which doesn't open up about his life and mission.
The guy that has his own rules.
The man who is on a mission and she is a guest in his world.
Women love that stuff.
They will never admit but the love it.
They don't want to be told the secret.
They want to figure it out using their “feminine intuition”.
So when a woman goes on a date and you spill the beans on the first date or first-month that mystery is gone.
The excitement is gone.
So now many men will tell me:
“But John I just want to be comfortable and honest with my partner”
Well you can do that, but it's not going to translate to happiness and sex.
Being “comfortable” in a relationship and in life leads to complacency and problems on the horizon.
You might be “best friends,” but the reality is this lack of mystery and excitement is what makes miserable marriages and relationships.
And this is what causes the destruction of most short and long term dating.
“But John I don't want to lie to my wife my whole life”.
You don't have to lie just don't tell her everything.
Let her figure it out with the bread crumbs that you throw out.
This is a big difference.
Women want to figure you out but don't tell her everything about you.
Let her figure it out by herself.
In the short term its a killer for attraction and in the long term its a death sentence for your sex life and excitement in a relationship.
When you immediately tell your “life story ” and put all your cards on the table the mystery is over.
She won't be able to use one of her biggest pleasures in life,her imagination.
Remember she imagines many things about you.
Where is he?
What is that trip he is going on?
Why does he never want me to go to the gym with him?
Why is he going for dinner with his best friend every Thursday?
Why is he…..?????
They love to imagine you doing things she can't control.
It makes her think that she is figuring you out.
But you kill this for her as soon as you “open up” about everything.
Most men with a Beta male mindset have this approach and open up as soon as possible.
If it doesn't happen on the first date then it happens in the first few months.
They want to put it all out there and say stupid stuff like “I want to open my heart”.
But guess what happens?
The mystery is over.
And even if she stays with the man the sex will get less and the spark is gone.
In long term relationships this is something that is very important to remember:
Getting married or going into a long term relationship does not mean you should be a beta male.
Predictability and full disclosure kills attraction.
Women might say the opposite but the truth is that predictability and familiarity kill passion and attraction.
Women need their imaginations to run wild to feel attraction.
Even if you are naturally beta minded I have some good news: You can change it.
You can build an alpha mindset by changing the way you think and approach women and life.
How To Keep Attraction Alive.
1 – Frame
The success of relationships depends on the frame when you start the relationship.
She has to enter into your frame and not the other way around.
Or let me put in simple terms: She has to enter your world and be a guest in it and not the other way around.
But what do most men do?
They crawl like bitches to please her.
They open up and tell her everything as soon as possible.
They do this with the hope of acceptance into her world and her frame.
If you enter her frame you start off on the back foot and enter the world of the beta male.
So your frame should be one of living a life based on your rules.
A life that you love.
A life based on your rules, not hers.
You have to have an element of unpredictability to your personality and life.
Many men tell me “This sounds like a lot of work John”.
Well, it s a lot less work than the bullshit most beta males deal with their whole lives in failed relationships and shitty marriages.
All relationships take work.
But if you work on yourself and your mindset then you will have a lot less work to do in your relationships.
So develop your personality to be more adventures and unpredictable.
Don't believe the shit you see in Hollywood where women say “I just want that good dependable guy”.
She might say that but then she still goes out and fucks that bad boy that worked in the mail room.
How Do You Become More Unpredictable and Mysterious?
Change your routine sometimes.
Come back from work a bit later.
Go to the gym at different times.
Don't text her for a day.
In a very subtle way make her know that other women are interested in you.
For example, tell her “Betty the gym instructor said this suit looks good on me. Do you agree with her?”
Say it in an innocent way to not directly tell her that Betty wants to fuck you.
This will immediately make her imagination go into overdrive.
Remember that women will find you more attractive knowing that other women also find you attractive.
Rock The Boat
Don't be scared to rock the whole fucking building.
Don't think that playing it safe is going to save or improve your relationship.
But this will only work well if you started the relationship in your frame.
If you live in her frame and her world she might lose her shit and throw the milk bottle at you.
This is, unfortunately, the beta reality 90% of men live in.
Most men are too scared to even think of rocking the boat because they live in her world.
Most of these beta males think they “have it good”.
What they don't know is that many of these women fuck “bad boy” alphas on the side.
But if you are in a relationship and you entered in her frame you can still change things.
But it will be a lot harder and will take a lot more work.
You will need to do more than rock the boat to take the frame back.
You will need to transform yourself.
You will have to do things like get into shape, make more money, get a better job and show her your higher value in some way.
For example, as mentioned above show her you are seen as attractive by other women.
But let me contradict myself: Women want dependability.
But they also want excitement.
The problem is that they very rarely find this on one man.
So most women settle for the dependable beta male that will be a good stable provider for her children.
But she still desires the unpredictability and excitement of the bad boy alpha.
So if you can be both you can have successful long term relationships.
But this will take work and if you are not prepared to do it then you will live in her world.
Or you will not even get past a first date.
Why will these things spark attraction?
Well, think about it.
For example, in a 5-year long relationship, you suddenly lose your beer belly and get a six-pack.
She starts getting excited because she notices other women looking at you.
You come home with a new car and this excites her.
Her imagination starts running.
You broke the predictable pattern.
And she noticed one important thing.
Your value is rising and this changes everything.
It's impossible for me to write about the different types of relationships and dates men go into in one article.
But the point of this article is to point out that for you to have more success with women you need to change the frame.
And you also need to stop telling her everything about your life.
You don't have to be a closed book but keep most of your weaknesses and sob stories inside of you
Don't complain about how hard your work is, she doesn't care.
Show strength and spark her emotions and you will find the success you are looking for.