I was recently reminded of the influence of the book Fifty Shades Of Grey on women and modern culture.

A few weeks ago I got an email from a reader that told me his wife has been avoiding having sex with him for months. 

They have been married for 2 years, the first 6 months they had sex a few times a month.

However, after about 6 months, she closed the gates.

He says she always has excuses for not having sex.

She would say she was feeling tired or she was not feeling well.

For a while, he just kept accepting her excuses until he found a book she was reading.

The book was Fifty Shades Of Grey.

After that, he started suspecting other things.

What “shocked” him the most is that his wife never seemed to be into that “type of thing.”

fifty shades of grey

Kinky ?

She never seemed to be into anything kinky.

She seemed “normal” and preferred just normal ways of “making love”.

I'm not going to tell you what happened to this guy.

Because his specific story is not that important.

What is important is what this book tells us about the reality of women and the modern world.

And also for you to start looking under the surface when it comes to women and dating.

Let's start from the beginning.

The book sold over 150 million copies.

kinky

150 Million Copies

That by itself should tell you something.

Remember the bottom line:

Never believe everything a woman says, look at her actions.

She might say, “I'm not into that kind of thing”, but then run to the bookstore and get 50 Shades of Grey.

The reason for this being such a widespread phenomenon in the modern world is simple:

We live in a world where the majority of men are beta men that say yes to everything a woman asks of them.

They walk over most men.

Most men open up to them about their feelings and emotions.

And even though she will tell you that it's what she wants the opposite is true.

hypergamy

What Women Want?

She wants strength.

She wants the Alpha.

Some might settle down with the obedient beta provider, but the fantasy (Christian Grey) is always about the dominant Alpha Male.

So now you are wondering what does it matter?

Well, it matters in the sense that you should always keep in mind that what women say and what they do are 2 different things.

Secondly what the mainstream cultural narrative tells you about dating and relationships between men and women are almost always wrong.

But What Specifically Can We Learn About The Character Christian Grey?

confidence

Grey Is The Modern Ideal Of The Masculine Alpha

The character of Grey taps into the modern ideal of the Masculine Alpha. 

Grey has all the classic qualities of a masculine man that is so lacking in the modern world. 

In a world filled with mediocre men, Grey stands out as someone that is extremely confident and has committed to excellence, and lives life on his own terms.

relationships

A Man In The Moment

In a world of distraction, Christian Grey has a classic masculine quality that most men lack, focus. 

He is in the moment and the woman with him can feel it.

He is not distracted, he is in the moment with her and she can feel it. 

He doesn't constantly check his phone, he embraces the current moment and women find that kind of consciousness very attractive.

Open About His Sexual Desire

Most men try to hide their attraction and desire for a woman. 

Grey is not ashamed about who is and what he wants. 

Sure the movie dramatizes and takes certain aspects to the extreme, but he is open about his sexuality. 

In the modern world, men try and hide this part of them, so when a woman meets a man that is in touch with his own sexuality it's very attractive to women.

dating

Man On A Mission

Christian Grey is a very wealthy man in the movie but it's not the money that women find attractive. 

It is what the wealth says about him.

His wealth shows his passion for what he does in life and his relentless drive to go after what he wants. 

So when a woman sees a man is jacked she doesn't just find the aesthetics of a strong body attractive.

She finds the drive to create that body attractive. 

A man that has goals and who has the drive to go after them with everything he has is what sparks attraction. 

Again in a world of mediocrity, this stands out.

Decisiveness

Grey is a very desissive man and in a modern world where most men wait for women to make the decisions, this is very attractive. 

Dont be afraid to make decisions and stand behind those decisions.

Leadership is attractive to women. 

So lead and make decisions in your life and relationships.

attractive man

Commitment To Excellence And Going After An Ideal

Grey goes after an ideal in life. 

He dreams and pursues his goals fearlessly. 

In a world where most people stopped dreaming and going after what they really want it's easy to stand out.

Even when people say “that's impossible” go for what you want.

Most people don't believe in themselves so they don't believe great things are possible for them. 

What they dont understand is that with hard work, focus and commitment anything is possible. 

You can get what you want if you raise your standards and commit to excellence.

He Understands True Nature Of Women

Most men have no idea what women want. 

They believe the mainstream narrative about women and because of that end up in mediocre or unhappy relationships. 

In the movie, the character of Grey understands a woman's true nature and therefore women find him very attractive. 

Women want a man “that gets it”.

And if you want to “get it” then you must learn about the true nature of women.

For example, one key aspect Grey understand about women is that they filter reality through their emotions. 

And he knows how to use this part of women to create attraction.

He Hacks Into The Frustration Of Modern Women

We live in a world where women are frustrated by the majority of men that have chosen mediocrity. 

And it's not just mediocrity but as mentioned before it's the lack of understanding of the true nature of women.

So when a Masculine Alpha comes into her life he stands out in the sea of betas.

In the movie, Grey hacks into this frustration of women who are looking for strength in men. 

And when I say strength, I dont just mean physical strength. 

I mean the holistic strength of the Masculine Alpha.

alpha mindset

Conclusion

This book and movie gets ignored by a lot of men but its popularity in a feminized world should be enough for you to take notice. 

And when I say to take notice I mean the lessons you can learn from it.

Read Fifty Shades Of Grey and find out the truth about what most women fantasise about.

Think about it, a masculine alpha character that is loved by women in a world where most women say “I hate masculinity”.

So the fact that the book sold 150 million copies tells you to remember the old truth about women: Always look at her actions, not her words.