I have written several articles on this blog about dating online.
And I have been very successful with online dating and have encouraged others to use it.
I get it.
It's a great tool.
And if a tool works then we should use it.
However the problem starts when we embrace one good tool and forget the best tool of them all.
The problem today is that reality has become a problem for many men out there.
The problem for them is that in the real world you have to approach women if you want to meet them.
But the real problem is that you have to show yourself to the world.
You have to put yourself out there for women to judge with no Instagram to hide behind.
No perfect Tinder dating pictures.
No fictional dating profile.
In the real world, you have to step up and show yourself to the world.
Within this, we find a bigger problem.
When we start looking deeper we start doubting ourselves and our ability to convince a stranger on the street, bar or coffee shop to give us her time.
This is when the game changes.When the camera turns onto us in the moment it makes us uncomfortable.
So for many, the thought of approaching and talking with strangers is too much to handle.
So they go back online where they can safely build an image of themselves that they can show the world.
An image created with Photoshop and filters on Instagram.
The Present Moment
More importantly an image that don't have to deal with the present moment.
It's a little safe space where we can create a virtual self and even better we can hide behind a screen and talk to her with all the “confidence” in the world.
This has become a “real world “for many.
The virtual world of swipes and likes.
Another big problem is that in this virtual world the women rule the “reality”.
They set the terms in their feminized world they have created.
You might think you are in control but you are not.
I previously wrote about how women have become delusional with dating online.
False Sense Of Importance
They have created a false sense of self-importance because millions of horny men are mindlessly liking them online.
For her, you are just a number, one of the thousands she has to sift through to get the one that meets her “standards”.
But the insanity of women online and online dating is not the biggest problem.
The biggest problem is that most men choose not to face the real problem.
What is the real problem?
Well, it's the problem that drove them to only focus on online dating in the first place.
The problem they are hiding from.
The problem is staring at them in the mirror.
The Real Problem
And a long time ago it used to be me.
The problem is we don't think we are good enough so we hide.
Many think they can't change the way they are.
Some think they can change it but they can't imagine doing the work it takes to talk to strange women in public.
The reality of Game is that it can take you down a rabbit hole that you didn't expect.
Game (dating) has gotten a bad name in many circles.
But whatever your opinion is about game one thing is clear, it changes you.
It either changes you for the better or the worse.
That is up to you.
When I started game years ago I wanted to date many women.
And I wanted to date and sleep with as many women as possible.
I was looking for a trick or a hack that would give me the key to the magic door that leads me to easily sleeping with any woman I found attractive.
To my surprise game opened up a world that I didn't know existed.
The world of personal development.
Like mentioned before there is good and bad in game.
There are different philosophies and approaches.
There are different coaches and ideas.
Opening The Door To Personal Development
But I happen to learn from guys in game that opened the door to personal development.
Sure they showed me a few tricks and lines that helped me build confidence with women.
But the foundation was me developing as a human.
That was the foundation of everything.
So the game opened up a world where the majority of the time was spent on me.
My weaknesses and blind spots that I was not willing to look at.
It went so far for me that women were not the main focus anymore.
The main focus became me and how far I could take this idea of creating the best version of myself.
The idea of taking full responsibility for everything in my life.
I became obsessed with looking inward and exposing my own weaknesses and then rebuilding myself and exposing who I really am.
This leads me down the road of not just becoming good with women but becoming really good at everything else I did.
All areas of life became my focus.
And here is the key:
If you want to become good with women.
If you want to become good at talking to women in public.
Talking to total strangers.
Then become better as a human.
Expose your own weaknesses and then change it.
Start with believing that you can change.
Have a growth mindset.
Then go out there and do the work.
Approach 100 women.
Fail and learn from your experiences.
The truth is that if you want to become good at something you will not get it without hard work and failure or pain.
But again I want to point out that in the long term and in the real world you need to get better as a man.
Even if you stay online you need to eventually show yourself to the world.
Even if you lie and create a fake version of yourself you still have to show yourself to the world.
And even if you manage to trick a woman into bed or a relationship you can't fake it forever.
You will get exposed and then you will lose her.
Then you will end up back at square one.
The bottom line again is this.
In dating and all the other important things in life comes down to one thing.
You getting better.
OK so now that we got that out of the way what is next?
Stepping Into Fear
The obvious thing is that you need to lose your fear of the moment.
The moment scares many people because anything can happen.
They know women usually dominate this space.
Women are in a position of power because you are the one doing the approaching.
You go into a woman's space.
This scares men.
Because in the moment things happen fast and they fear being exposed and humiliated by women.
But before we get to that.
Let's look at old school fundamentals that I hammer on most of the time.
Things that will help you stay clear-minded and in the position of power.
If you looking for magic tricks stop reading now and leave this blog.
The way to get successful with women and anything else takes work.
If you not up for that then leave now.
Old School Fundamentals.
(1)Lift Weights And Eat Healthy.
You want to look better and be more attractive?
Then lift weights and eat healthy.
The truth is that women are attracted to masculine/alpha qualities.
So do big compound exercises that build muscle and kick start your testosterone production.
This will not only make you look more attractive but make you more healthy, give you more drive and make you more relaxed.
It's a 360 degree win.
Add to that a good diet filled with natural food then you will be a beast.
Eat lots of meat and good fats.
Drink good black coffee and supplement with high-quality supplements and you are good to go.
(2)Meditate and do Yoga.
Meditate or do yoga or both.
I like to meditate every day and then do 3 yoga sessions a week.
Why meditate and do yoga?
It helps you clear your mind and become in the moment.
If you make this a habit you start feeling subtle changes.
You will start feeling calmer and composed in everyday life.
You will remove all the crap out of your mind.
Women are a lot more perceptive than men.
They notice things on you that you won't even think about.
It's how women are genetically programmed.
I wrote one of my previous articles about the advanced ability of women to smell men and the importance of your hygiene.
Today I want to remind you that you need to take your grooming seriously.
Shower at least twice a day.
Brush your teeth, trim your nails, facial hair, body hair and everything else that needs grooming.
Keep your skin healthy.
We live in a world where appearances matter.
The good news is that all this grooming is not just for her, it's about you creating the best version of yourself.
So get on it and make it part of who you are.
Be a well-groomed man.
(4)Read And Learn
Want to be more interesting to women?
Want to have things to talk about to women?
Learn things about the world and yourself.
There are and were great men who wrote down their ideas on paper.
All you have to do is get the book and read it.
For example, you can read the personal diary of Marcus Aurelius that ruled and created the Roman Empire many years ago in the comfort of your room.
We live in a time where knowledge on almost every topic is available for free or at a very low cost.
All you have to do is take it.
OK,Now we have the fundamentals out of the way.
What is next?
Well, now the big and very simple step comes next.
Today is not about the nuances in approaching women and the social dynamics involved.
Today is about a simple reality and action.
Cause and effect.
You need to get over your fear and start approaching women.
My suggestion for you is to start doing this in the day time.
The day time is better for various reasons.
The most important reason is that the competition is low and there are no loud music and crowds.
You can come in under the radar and talk to a woman.
The first thing to remember is that you will get rejected by some women.
This is normal and not the end of the world.
Some women just won't like you and that is fine so get over yourself.
Set a goal for yourself to approach at least 1 woman a day and have a conversation.
Then after a week take a few days off and think about what went wrong and where you can improve.
Then get back in there.
Every few weeks take a few days off.
If you work on this consistently you will build confidence.
The more you approach women and even get rejected the more you will learn.
If you don't know what to say then borrow a line from one of the dating books to get started.
But don't get locked into one line.
Lines are helpful if you have no confidence and you are struggling.
But eventually, you will just be able to say anything and start a conversation.
The most important point of this approach is for you to get over the fear of approaching women and the fear of the moment.
When you start getting comfortable with being in the moment and the dynamic nature of this reality you will start building self-confidence.
You will also get a better understanding of what areas you need to work on.
If you combine the fundamentals I mentioned above and combine it with action you will not only get better with women but you will get better as a person.
In the end that is the most important thing.
When you get better as a person everything else will get better.
Make A Decision
The only thing you have to do now is make a decision.
You need to ask yourself a question.
Are you going to keep on living in a virtual reality or step into the moment?
Are you going to start living or keep living the illusion?
Enjoy online dating but never give up the best part of life which is reality.
Living in the moment is where life throws all the dynamic chaos at you that makes life fun.
Things like unpredictability, social dynamics and just enjoyment that can only be found in being in the moment , embracing the uncertainty taking things as it comes.
So as cliche as it sounds break free from the matrix and start living free again.
It takes work and comes at a cost.
But the rewards are massive.