Have you ever heard of the phenomenon of the man-child?
Marie-Louis von Franz was a Swiss psychologist who studied under the famous psychologist Carl Jung.
Franz noticed a strange pattern in the mid-20thcentury.
The trend she noticed was that many men who were far into their adult years remained psychologically stunted in their level of maturity.
They looked like adults, but their psychological development in many ways was similar to a child.
She said the following in one of her lectures after realizing what a big problem it was.
She said these people….
“…remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen are continued into later life, coupled in most cases with too great a dependence on the mother.”
-Marie-Louis von Franz
Franz gave this lecture back in 1959 and her predictions and observations have become remarkably accurate.
If you look at the modern western mainstream culture among young men.
Many men are living with their parents well into their 20's, 30's and in some extreme cases even their 40's.
These men prefer the comfort and safety of their parent's home.
They fear the uncertainty and risk that go with walking out into the world.
Instead of growing and creating the best version of themselves and moving as independent men in a world of uncertainty, they retreat into a virtual safe space.
They live most of their lives online watching porn, playing games, and waiting for mom to finish cooking dinner.
The reality is that a lot of modern mainstream western men are struggling spiritually, financially, socially, and sexually.
The Hero's Journey.
“A man can't go out the way he came in…a man has got to add up to something.” -Arthur Miller
The Loss Of The Rite Of Passage.
The rite of passage used to be a normal part of society especially in older western culture.
But more pressure started to develop on the rite of passage the more domesticated modern man became.
And eventually, a lot of male rite of passage rituals disappeared.
Although it seemed that it totally disappeared in the modern world it survived in a watered-down form but only in specific male cultures.
Cultures like the military, sports teams, college fraternities, and gangs.
According to Brittanica a rite of passage can be described as:
“Many of the most important and common rites of passage are connected with the biological crises, or milestones, of life—birth, maturity, reproduction, and death—that bring changes in social status and, therefore, in the social relations of the people concerned. Other rites of passage celebrate changes that are wholly cultural, such as initiation into societies composed of people with special interests—for example, fraternities. Rites of passage are universal, and presumptive evidence from archaeology (in the form of burial finds) strongly suggests that they go back to very early times. “
There are many different forms of initiation or rite of passage.
Passing through this right of passage has significant meaning for men and societies as a whole.
The first and most important rite of passage for young men is to move from a child into the world of the man.
In older tribes and traditions this used to be about older men giving knowledge and wisdom to the child over a period of a few years and then culminating the training with a ritual that usually included a violent and painful introduction into the world of men.
The Spartan initiations were brutal and violent and are still talked about and studied even today.
These types of traditions have mostly disappeared from modern society.
The people who forced these changes consciously or unconsciously removed the most important backbone of a strong and stable society.
A society where men earn their place as a man in society.
And once they earn their place it's just the beginning, now they have to go out there into the world and prove themselves.
They have to become someone.
They have to become the best version of themselves.
Unfortunetly in modern society, most of these rituals even watered-down forms have been forcibly removed from most male cultures.
The rise of modern extreme feminism has made sure these rituals that empower men are removed.
But not even they realized the amount of damage it would do to society.
And today the level of damage is clear for everyone to see.
We see thousands of men walking around without direction and purpose.
They look weak and alone.
They have been failed by modern culture that gave them an empty shell to build a life with.
They dont get taught the ancient wisdom they need in schools.
They dont get encouraged to overcome obstacles and hardships.
They dont get encouraged to empower themselves spiritually, physically, and mentally.
Instead, they get encouraged to stay a man child and live as a victim.
In fact, they get taught in schools and universities to look for ways to make themselves the victim.
This is leading to levels of unhappiness that we haven't yet learned to fully understand.
The problem is that weak men, lead to weak societies, and this weakness goes into every level of society.
The problem is made worse by the reduction of families and the removal of fathers from the family structure.
I get it, the world is what it is and what are we supposed to do about it?
The answer is simple: It starts with me and you.
Individual men must take back their power.
Your responsibility to the world is to become the best version of yourself.
Become the best human being you can imagine.
Live by example, that is what we do.
Reject fear and welcome challenge, uncertainty, and discomfort.
That is our starting position.
The Reality Of Men.
The reality of men is that they dont get born, they get made.
Sure we all get born male as men.
But becoming a real man is a process.
It will demand a lot from you.
But the rewards are massive.
An important thing to remember is this: you must be willing to walk alone and pay the price to get it.
The coddling of the modern western mind means most young men think they deserve to just get things.
They are used to participation trophies and think if they cry hard enough and play the victim that they will get what they want.
Then the reality of the real world punches them in the mouth, they figure out that the world owes them nothing.
To make things most of them have a fixed mindset.
A fixed mindset basically means that you believe things are the way they are and can't be changed.
They dont realize that you need a growth mindset as a starting point.
A growth mindset is when you believe that you can get better and improve with the necessary hard introspection and hard work.
This is what has been lost with the rise of the man-child.
Young men dont realize that we all have flaws and shortcomings and that we have to confront ourselves with self-discipline and hard work to get better in all aspects of life.
The Heroes Journey.
“We need a great rebirth of the heroic in our world. Every sector of human society, wherever that may be on the planet, seems to be slipping into unconscious chaos.”
-Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
“Ours is not an age that wants heroes. Ours is an age of envy, in which laziness and self-involvement are the rule. Anyone who tries to shine, who dares to stand above the crowd, is dragged down by his lackluster and self-appointed “peers”.”
-Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.”
“True heroism consists in being superior to the ills of life, in whatever shape they may challenge us to combat.”
We live in a world where most men think they are not capable of great things they think they can only admire others who they think are heroic.
To make the problem worse modern western societies have chosen to idolize celebrities like movie tv stars, movie stars, and musicians as their heroes.
Modern education did not teach them about real heroic figures of history and therefore dont understand what real heroism is.
This means most modern men dont have the value system in their life that will motivate them to become great men who can be of service to the greater good of man through living an extraordinary life.
Living By A Code.
“To live a valued life is to act in the service of what you value.”
-Steven Hayes, Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life
I have previously written about living by a code as a man.
I talked about a set of values that you live by to guide you through life.
These values or codes are the principles that you value and want to live by.
If a man doesn't have a code then the stream of life will take you into the ocean of life without knowing how you got there.
You will have no powerful ship to protect you from the stormy seas.
You will have no compass to direct you.
You will aimlessly drift in the ocean until you hit the rocks.
Your value system needs timeless guidelines based on the following components.
Choosing to live by a code and living as the hero of your own movie will lift you up out of your static position and start living a dynamic life.
Using discipline and an Alpha Mindset to move through and over any obstacle will allow you to constantly create a better version of yourself.
Men Get Made .
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
– Haruki Murakami
Armed with a strong value system and powerful mindset will put you on course to go into the world and make a massive impact on whatever you choose to do.
You decide what you want to do and then go after it.
Set massive goals and start consistently going after them.
But as mentioned before the key part of this process of creating yourself is to go out into the world and walk alone.
You must walk away from comfort and safety and challenge yourself.
I am not talking about self-sacrifice, I'm talking about self-expression without fear.
I'm talking about facing uncertainty and danger with courage.
Nothing of value can be created by staying in comfort and safety.
But remember I'm not saying you will not feel fear.
Feeling fear is natural, but courage is about feeling fear and doing it anyway.
Most people feel fear and then start overthinking.
They start thinking about what they are about to undertake.
Usually, they start seeing thinking about the days, weeks, months, and even years of challenge and adversity that wait in front of them.
So they decide to stop and give up.
How Do You Not Give Into Fear?
The key is to focus on your values and your goals.
Also, remember that the hero's journey is about overcoming your fears.
You have the responsibility of going after your goals and living by example.
Remember most of the world is living in a safe space.
People will start questioning you when you start rising.
They will think your actions and way of life are usual.
This is a test.
You move past them.
First, they will laugh at you, but in the end, they will ask how you did it.
Don't talk to them about your goals or try to justify your actions, they will not understand.
The only thing you can do is to inspire some individuals through your example.
But most are too deep into the matrix to understand your warrior lifestyle.
Remember their minds are stuck in a static mindset, their heroes are celebrities whose values are so far from yours that they won't be able to comprehend what you are doing.
All you do is focus on the vision you have for your life.
Dont compromise that for anyone.
Your mission is number 1, that is it.
An Alpha Mindset is the mindset of a warrior.
That means your actions are not just something you do sometimes, it's a way of life.
It's who you are.
“Alas, I have known noble men who lost their highest hope,And henceforth they slandered all high hopes. Henceforth they lived imprudently in brief pleasures, and they had hardly an aim beyond the day… Once they thought of becoming heroes: now they are sensualists. The hero is to them an affliction and a terror. But, by my love and hope I entreat you: do not reject the hero in your soul! Keep holy your highest hope!”
Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
– Joseph Campbell
Remember choosing to live a life of heroism is not for everyone.
It's for the 1% of men out there in the world that is willing to step up and live by example.
Most will not step up and take the challenge.
Some will try but will not be willing to let go of the safety rope and then retreat back into their safe spaces where they feel comforted in the crowd of sheep.
Making the choice to live as a man on a hero's journey will challenge you and it's not for everyone.
But those who choose to live this warrior life will be rewarded by the universe for daring to be great.
Maybe you want to know when this hero's journey ends?
The simple answer?
Your life this way until the day you die.
This is not for everyone.
But if you choose to accept the challenge then step up now and prepare to walk alone.
Until next time…