Sigmund Freud was one of the greatest psychologists of our time and he pioneered many things in modern psychology.
However one thing he could never get his head around was the subject of women.
More specifically the question of what women want
“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want? ‘” -Sigmund Freud
He might have gotten better results if he knew more about the theory of Female Hypergamy.
What Is Female Hypergamy Meaning?
Female hypergamy can be summed up with the following definition:
“Female hypergamy is the tendency of women to seek and pursue partners of a higher class, income or status than themselves.”
This is not a negative or insult to women.
This is their biology and in a way its necessary to keep society moving forward.
A lot of men get defensive when they first learn about hypergamy, they say:
“If this is real I give up.”
“This is not fair.”
“Women are superficial.”
Unfortunately, this is loser thinking.
The best way to deal with hypergamy is to accept it and learn to overcome it.
But before we get to that let's look a bit closer at hypergamy and how it works.
The good news is that Hypergamy(although very important) is only one factor that influences women when it comes to attraction.
She also cares about things like confidence, ambition, authenticity, and charisma.
But you will have to develop these qualities and turn them into real assets in terms of dating high-quality women.
Hypergamy in Practise.
So Hypergamy is the tendency of women to go after the best man she can find.
This drive has a deep evolutionary origin in terms of her looking for the best possible genes she can find.
We men on the other hand have the natural biological drive to mate with as many females as possible.
The logic in women being more selective is that if she falls pregnant she will have to deal with the 9-month pregnancy and raising the child.
So the hypergamous drive makes sense in a purely biological perspective.
So maybe Freud would have told his patients that the reason his patient's wife cheated on him was probably Hypergamy.
Many men are surprised to find out that their partner cheated on them but a lot of times Hypergamy was the driver.
This upsets men that women cheat because of Hypergamy.
But the other side of the coin is this: Did you make it easy for her to make that choice?
Remember most men are average or below average.
They get a girlfriend or a wife and think they are good.
They stop working on themselves, stop taking calculated risks, and stop looking after their bodies.
So as men, we need to take responsibility for ourselves.
Because women's biological drives cant be changed.
But you can change yourself.
But before we get to overcoming hypergamy lets look at some more details of Hypergamy.
Hypergamy In The Open.
If you look into history even 100 years it would almost seem like Hypergamy wasn't around.
But it has always been with us.
The only difference is that Hypergamy used to be more hidden.
In the past the churches and social norms limited women more so they were more stealth about openly showing their hypergamous nature.
In the modern world with Feminism giving women more power they are a lot more open about their nature even if they still deny it.
Again this is not an attack on women. We are just pointing out obvious facts of what is happing now and in the past.
You can't change the laws of nature. It is what it is.
Women are more adventures (feminism) in modern times and things like social media have made it a lot worse.
All you have to do is take one look at divorce rates and you will see Hypergamy under the surface everywhere.
One thing to remember is that Hypergamy can be brutal.
That means that Hypergamy sometimes seems to come out of nowhere.
You have probably heard stories about some guy's wife just leaving out of the blue.
Or some dude's girlfriend just leaving him “Out of the blue”: The reality of the power of Hypergamy is that when it is unleashed it can become brutal.
It doesn't care about your past loyalties or emotional “equities” of the past.
This is the brutal nature of Hypergamy in its extreme form.
But this doesn't mean all women will act in extreme ways on their hypergamous instincts.
But what many women do in relationships and marriages is “Shit Test” their man by making remarks or asking questions to see if their man is still on his mission and is still being the best man she can get.
This happens for women mostly unconsciously.
It's not like they are all consciously planning to feel these drives inside them.
It's just in their nature.
It's the same way men look at women to potentially mate with.
It's a biological drive.
All that being said some women are openly and aggressively hypergamous.
And they are consciously looking for ways to optimize their hypergamy.
So in other words some women will cheat easier than others.
So you will need to improve your social and emotional intelligence to screen women better especially in terms of long term relationships.
Dream World Thinking.
I mentioned earlier that for many men it's a hard reality to understand and accept.
Many reject it and pretend it's not real.
They prefer to live in the fantasy movie reality of the world.
They think that most people are destined to automatically be happy and that everything will just work out of you just “stay in your lane” and not break any rules.
This unfortunetly is a recipe for disaster and unhappiness.
Hypergamy has got no feelings and its nothing personal.
The best thing for you to do is accept it and see it as an opportunity to get better.
Because for you to limit the negative effects of Hypergamy on your life you will need to do exactly that. Get better!
And remember even in a relationship hypergamy is still a reality.
And it's even more important for men to maintain their personal standards to overcome the tests of hypergamy.
So now let's get to the part where you overcome this obstacle of hypergamy.
Taking Control (Hypergamy Tips)
For you to overcome Hypergamy will take work.
You have to get better as a man.
There is no way around that.
But better how?
You need to become more attractive to women.
It's as simple as that.
You need to figure out what is attractive to women and then become that.
But most men stop here.
Because most men run from doing work on themselves and their lives.
Unfortunetly it is usually these types of men that are shocked that their girlfriends or wives cheated on them.
Because the reality is this: You might be content with your wife and your relationship.
But a woman is never 100% content with the situation.
Yes this is not a cool part of reality but it is what it is.
But it does explain a lot of problems in relationships.
You now have a backstage pass: Meaning you know what is going on.
This puts you in a power position:
So Let's Get To Work:
Your goal should be to get in the top 5 % of men in the world.
Yes you read that correctly.
This sounds hard, because it is.
But the good news is that its very possible in a time where most men give up easily.
We have more opportunities now than any other time in history to improve ourselves and climb our way up the ladder.
Women are naturally attracted to the top 5 % of men.
Just take a look at the social media following of the top 5 % on Social media and you will see its mostly females that follow those guys.
So let's take a look at things you can influence to make yourself more attractive:
- Self Confidence
- Physical Health
- Social Status
- Non Neediness
Now ask yourself how many men even put any thought into any of these qualities?
The number will be very very low.
And how many take any action on some or all of these?
The answer again is very very low.
This is good news for you.
A very well known Navy Seal recently said something that is very true about success in modern life.
He said that it's reasonably easy to become successful in today's world because people give up so easily.
Now ask yourself how many men take improving all aspects of themselves very seriously?
The answer to this is very very small.
Probably 1% of the world is taking Self Improvement seriously and not just as something they do sometimes but adopting it as a lifestyle.
To start you will need to change the way you think about the world and adopt a culture of Self Discipline into your life.
Then start by simply working on your body and mind consistently and then start adding more parts as you go along.
By improving yourself you will have a lot more success with women but more importantly, you will have a life that you absolutely love.
Choices In Life.
I say this often but winning in life is a conscious choice.
Every day we make little choices and when those choices get repeated it sculpts the reality we live in.
But big choices define us.
And choosing to win in life is a major decision.
It's a line in the sand.
You burn your boats.
Once you do that all the small daily choices you make flow into this big choice.
Start living with the idea in the back of your mind that your future is going to be great.
Dream big and the odds of it becoming a reality will go through the roof.
Most men think small and that is exactly what they get.
It's your time to dream.
And become a man that lives on his own terms.
Until next time….