I mentioned the word value before and I will perhaps mention it many times in the future.
There is a reason for it. Value is one of the most important things on this planet.
What is value?
Well, the mainstream definition of value is “The importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
You have to ask yourself this question honestly: “What is my value?”
Are you a valuable human being?
“A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you . . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone, one question . . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use.”
― Carlos Castaneda
“Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.”
―
Wherever you are ask yourself this: Do I bring value to the table?
When you walk into a room do people think “Great! John is here! We can now fix this problem?”
Or do they ignore you when you enter a room?
Ask more questions?
Do you solve problems?
Do you communicate well with others?
Do you make peole feel good about themselves?
Do you bring positive energy and presence into a room?
Do you bring value energy into the room with what you bring to the table?
Do people feel your presence when you walk into a room?
Have you ever noticed when certain people walk into a room you can feel it?
Without that person saying a word…
They have a presence.
They exude confidence and charisma.
They light up a room by saying very little.
They bring calmness to a room without saying a word.
It's who they are.
“We choose only once. We choose either to be warriors or to be ordinary… A second choice does not exist. Not on this earth.”
-Carlos Castaneda
When men ask me how to be successful in any field I tell them the most important thing first:
Raise your value!
You have to raise your value.
So I ask you again:
What do you bring to the table?
If you are stuck right now and you feel like you are not going where you want to go in life then you need to stop looking out at the world.
You have to turn the camera and realize that it's about you.
It's not about the world.
Value influences everything.
It influences all your relationships.
It influences your communication.
It influences your body.
It influences your mind.
It influences your soul.
It influences everything you do.
And the more you hide from it the more you will look for solutions outside of yourself.
And the more you do that the more you will walk into a brick wall.
So what should you do as soon as humanly possible?
You have to raise your value as soon as possible and then go into the world and live life on your terms.
The problem most men have is this: They want to take the easy way out.
“When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? Memento mori — “remember that you have to die.” All of this will go to nothing.” ― Ryan Holiday
The area of dating and relationships is a great example.
Men get to a certain point in life where they think they finished school, they have a job.
So now they are good.
They are “educated” men that any women should be “lucky” to have”.
They then go into a relationship with a woman.
The relationship ends in disaster.
They dont know why things ended badly.
The same happens when someone wants to have more short term type of relationships.
For example, a man that wants to have short term dating and relationships.
A guy like this would go out with the same mindset and also get rejected.
His goal of enjoying his dating life ends badly.
These men will then start blaming the world for their lack of success.
They will blame the circumstances or people outside themselves.
Even worse a lot of these men will then settle for any woman that will take them and live a life of misery.
They settle for anyone because they have a lot of fear in their hearts.
The fear is that deep down they know that their value is very.
So low that any high-value woman should see their lack of real value.
So he just keeps his head down with the hope she keeps him in her life.
So he allows her to take the leadership role and run his life.
She makes all the decisions.
She is the leader.
These men usually fall into 2 groups.
The ones that realize that they should improve themselves but they just dont want to do the work.
So they settle for a life of misery.
The second group is men who know their value is low but they think it's something they can't change.
They also settle for a life of misery and mediocrity.
I'm using dating as an example of how men deny their own lack of value.
But this value is not really about dating.
Sure the lack of value gets exposed within a relationship or a date.
“The disease of our times is that we live on the surface. We’re like the Platte River, a mile wide and an inch deep.” ― Steven Pressfield
But the truth is that this is all about the man:
Who is he really when things get quiet and he is alone at night?
Just him.
Who is he really?
Who is he when the lights go off?
Who is he when the curtain goes down?
Who is this man when you take away the flashing lights and smoke and mirrors?
Who is the deep down?
What is his spirit made off?
Because when you lie alone in bed at night with only your thoughts to keep you company the real you come to say hello.
The real you that you hide from the world.
Then the question comes up:
Am I good enough?
This is an important question.
Because the answer will give you a clue about what he will do with his life.
In ancient cultures like the spartan and samurai, they were aware of this.
In the modern world, we have forgotten this ancient masculine truth.
“In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. There is only time for decisions.”
― Carlos Castaneda
The truth is that we have a choice.
The choice is to become a warrior or be ordinary.
If you reject the warrior you will look for the easy way out for the rest of your life.
The warrior's I'm talking about is not only the warriors we admire in today's special operations units.
It's men like me and you who have made the choice to be spiritual warriors.
This means that we fight for everything we want.
We reject mediocrity.
We reject accepting the cards we were given.
We reject to settle for an average life.
Instead, we accept the sword.
“To seek the perfection of the warrior's spirit is the only task worthy of our temporariness, our manhood.”
― Carlos Castaneda
“A warrior, or any man for that matter, cannot possibly wish he were somewhere else; a warrior because he lives by challenge, an ordinary man because he doesn't know where his death is going to find him.”
― Carlos Castaneda
The ancient calling to take the difficult road to success and honor.
The difficult road that every man has to walk before he can take what he wants in this life.
This road is not for everyone.
It's not an easy road.
It's the path of most resistance.
The path that will test you.
The path that most avoid.
But the path that you must take to live the life of your dreams.
This road is where value gets created.
“The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness.”
― Carlos Castenada
It gets created by you confronting yourself.
It gets created by the battles you must fight with the parts of you that are holding you back.
Those parts of you that haunts you. Those parts of you that pull you back when you are about to make a move in life.
This path is full of obstacles and roadblocks.
This path will make you think about turning around.
On this path, you will have to confront fear.
On this path, you will have to create a new destiny.
“Every warrior on the path of knowledge thinks, at one time or another, that he's learning sorcery, but all he's doing is allowing himself to be convinced of the power hidden in his being, and that he can reach it.”
― Carlos Castaneda
At the beginning of this path, you must make a conscious choice to win.
Because I mentioned many times on this blog that winning in life is a conscious choice.
You have to choose to win.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, both are correct.
“The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.”
― Carlos Castaneda
This road of trials and tribulations is where value gets build.
It's where warriors get build.
It's who you are.
You just have to accept it.
This road will ask you many times: Do you want to take the easy road or the hard road?
The answer must always be the hard road because that is where value gets build.
You must confront yourself on this road.
“The most effective way to live is as a warrior. A warrior may worry and think before making any decision, but once he makes it, he goes his way, free from worries or thoughts; there will be a million other decisions still awaiting him. That's the warrior's way.”
― Carlos Castaneda
On this road, you must start doing things that you have never done before.
Because if you dont you will get what you have always gotten.
How do you get on this road?
You can get on this road by making a choice.
This choice is simple:
You just tell yourself: Everything changes now.
You can start changing your life at that moment of choice.
You make a decision.
But the choice is the easy part.
The real test will be if you will stay on the road?
Because you have to realize what will happen:
When you finish reading this article the motivation will start fading after a few days.
What will you do then?
This is when most men will go back to comfort and mediocrity.
But a few will keep pushing forward.
That is when mental toughness starts getting build.
“A man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting. ”
― Carlos Castaneda
Mental toughness is a lifestyle.
Mental toughness is when you keep going when you think it's impossible to keep going.
It's when everyone thinks it's over but you still keep moving forward.
It's when you look like you are done, but you are just getting started.
When you consistently start doing what is uncomfortable and hard you will start building value.
When you start doing things you hate and keep moving towards your goals…..you build value.
When you keep moving towards your vision in life is when you start really transforming.
The mindset of a warrior is what you must adapt and embrace to survive on this path.
“Only as a warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret anything. His life is an endless challenge, and challenges cannot possibly be good or bad. Challenges are simply challenges.”
― Carlos Castaneda
But know this:
When you get through this initiation of value you will be someone else on the other side.
That is when you will look back at who you have become.
Then you will be that man who walks into a room and people will feel the presence of a lion in the room.
The path of the warrior might motivate you but the question still remains in this moment as you read these words:
The question is will you choose to be a warrior or be average?
A warrior must learn to make every act count, since he is going to be here in this world for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.
-Carlos Castaneda
This brings us to one more piece of the puzzle.
Courage!
You will need true courage.
Because fear will try and pull you back into comfort and safety.
Safety makes you feel warm and comfortable.
But comfort and safety do not equal happiness.
To live life as a man who is content you have to be on your mission.
You have to be pushing your edge as a man constantly.
“To be a warrior a man has to be, first of all, and rightfully so, keenly aware of his own death. But to be concerned with death would force any one of us to focus on the self and that would be debilitating. So the next thing one needs to be a warrior is detachment. The idea of imminent death, instead of becoming an obsession, becomes an indifference.Now you must detach yourself; detach yourself from everything. Only the idea of death makes a man sufficiently detached so he is incapable of abandoning himself to anything. Only the idea of death makes a man sufficiently detached so he can't deny himself anything. A man of that sort, however, does not crave, for he has acquired a silent lust for life and for all things of life. He knows his death is stalking him and won't give him time to cling to anything, so he tries, without craving, all of everything.”
― Carlos Castaneda
Choose true courage over fear and you will be rewarded with growth.
You will be rewarded with the life you dreamed about.
But for this, you have to step up with courage.
So now the question is what are you going to do?
Will it be courage or fear?
Your choice!
Until next time….
