A lot of guys ask me what women want in men.
But every time a guy emails me about the problems they have with dating I look at them and smile.
The reason I smile is that this man doesn't realize he is his own biggest obstacle to dating success.
The normal email from guys always follows the following storyline:
It starts off with the whole beta victim mentality where the guy tells me about how he will never meet the right girl or have any success with women.
They then continue complaining about the girls being full of shit and how they want to give up because the women just don't “get them.”
They end by saying that if the girl would just give him a chance, she would see how awesome he is.
These men have no idea what women wants or what women desire.
What Women Want In Men.
Here is the truth:
If you are not having success with women and dating, then you are not good enough right now.
Yes, you heard right, at the moment you are not good enough.
This does not mean you will never be good enough, but right now you are not. End of story.
The reality is most guys want hot girlfriends.
Girls that are referred to as 9's and 10's.
Ask yourself this question:
Why should that 9 or 10 give you any of her time?
Let's look at her reality.
For the sake of this article, let's call her the 10.
The 10 (beautiful women) live on her own planet.
She walks into rooms and knows all the men and even the women are looking at her.
She knows the power she has over most people she encounters.
Real feminine beauty has power.
So most people always treat her nicely and suck up to her.
Online her realty is 1000 times better.
As a 10 she gets up to 500-1000 messages a week.
Her profile is so busy she can hardly keep up and has to limit her apps to one or maybe two because she doesn't have time to keep up.
She is used to being approached by guys everywhere and being treated like she is special.
She does not stand in line at clubs or bars, and she gets free stuff all the time.
She takes great care of her body and appearance. She eats healthy and always looks amazing.
She knows her femininity, looks, and appearance is her superpowers and her biggest assets.
She also knows that it will not last forever.
Her peak years will be from 20 – 29 years of age.
Some exceptionally gifted women have great looks into their forties.
But her peak looks and reproduction potential is from 20-29.
So the bottom line is that she is in very high demand.
Most men want her, she knows it.
The question is, why should she choose you?
The reality is that if you are not a guy that offers her a lot of value, then you have no shot.
If you want to date 6 and 7's then fine.Stop reading now.
But if you want to date 9 and 10's then keep reading.
How do you get her? You must have more value than her or at least the same.
This does not mean you need to have the same type of value as her, but you need to bring something to the table that will make her notice you from the thousands of chumps who want to sleep with her.
She gets approached by low-value guys all the time.
Therefore the question is: What is your value?
So how do we do this?
How do we figure out what women desire?
How do we become a high-value man?
Let's Take A Look At The Process To Become A Man Of Value:
(1)Build A Confident Mindset
What is confidence?
Let's look at some definitions:
“A feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities.”
Wikipedia defines confidence as:
“Confidence has a common meaning of a certainty about handling something such as work, family, social events or relationships”.
So let's agree on the following about confidence:
If you are confident you have a very high expectation of success in everything you do.
So when it comes to dating and relationships you need to develop certain skills.
Then you need to become very competent in these skills and this will lead to confidence.
But before we start, ask yourself this:
What are the things related to dating or relationships that you suck in?
You also need to figure out the things that you don't know you suck in.
Ask a friend, do a course, or read a book.
But you need to figure it out.
The goal in all of this is for you to become a better human being.
In other words, how to become more attractive
So we start with these skills and then build on top of that.
We will talk about these skills later in this article.
Remember you have some skills that you think are unrelated to dating.
But everything of value inside you count towards you being successful as a man.
The whole point is to become the man that women want.
Or to put it in a different way.
Become the man that women find attractive.
A fixed mindset is the concept of believing that our intelligence, personality traits and abilities are fixed characteristics determined at birth.
This idea was developed by Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in the study of motivation and the development of learning capacities.
Her research has uncovered how people with fixed mindsets often actively avoid challenges and obstacles because they believe their capabilities are fixed and cannot be improved upon.
With this mindset, they are more likely to give up quickly or even become defensive when faced with obstacles or failure.
Understanding this concept can help inform individuals on how to adapt their behaviors in order to make progress toward personal goals.
A growth mindset is a term also coined by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, referring to the belief that one's abilities and achievements are not fixed but can be cultivated through hard work.
With this mindset, an individual is motivated to challenge himself, take on difficult tasks, and learn from failure.
It encourages individuals to view effort and mistakes as part of the learning process rather than something to be ashamed of.
In contrast, having a fixed mindset leads people to reject challenges and avoid failure at all costs, which can lead to feelings of frustration and low self-confidence.
While growth mindsets benefit people of all ages, studies have found that it has especially beneficial effects for young people in terms of their academic performance.
Before we start with qualities remember this very important point.
You have to believe that you can improve and transform your life.
You need a growth mindset.
If you don't believe you can grow as a human then you are already lost.
You need to start believing in yourself. And if you don't believe yet then fake it till you make it.
Start telling yourself “Every day in every way I'm getting better and better”.
Repeat this to yourself every day over and over.
This will start planting positive seeds in your mind.
You will trick yourself to start believing in yourself.
Everything starts with your mindset.
So start building your mindset right now.
(2)Develop Into A High-Value Man.
What Qualities Do women find attractive?
Attraction is not a choice.
Women evolved in a specific way to find certain traits attractive.
They look for good qualities that will serve them.
They specifically evolved to be attracted to effective men.
Hundreds of thousands of years ago men who were effective survived.
This meant that women would have a high chance of survival if they stayed with such a man.
An ineffective man is unattractive to all women.
Don't worry you don't need to be a superhero.
But you need to develop fundamental skills to raise your effectiveness and become more high value.
What women want in men is holistic value.
Women usually go for good genes, a good partner, and a father.
If you can develop qualities that reflect these values then you will have success with women.
Again you don't have to be perfect.
If you are bad in some of these qualities then make up for it in others.
We all have strong points and weak points. Just focus on getting better in everything you do.
The good news is women are attracted to a large number of qualities.
This means you already have some of them even if you don't know it. The others you can develop or improve.
Before we start to remember this.
Some things are fundamental truths.
So if you read something that seems obvious remember you are probably not on top of that quality and you are trying to avoid it.
So stay open-minded and get it done.
Build good qualities!
Physical and Mental health.
We all can get in better shape!
And the good thing is that if you get this right you can drastically improve your chances right off the bat.
You don't need to look like a movie star.
But remember women are attracted to men who look healthy, strong, capable, and who are likely to survive.
The basics are:
-Lifts weights and do cardio
-Eat Health food(lots of organic meat and berries)
-Get a Lot of Sleep
-Do Martial Arts or other sports
To put it in a simple way.
This does not mean you need to walk around with a smile on your face all day.
What women want in men is happiness ,but this does not mean smilling at everything.
It just means you need to start enjoying your life.
Start doing things you like.
Start having fun every day.
This is a process but start now and start building and living the life you want to live.
Positivity sometimes gets a bad rap as bullshit.
But there is a reason a lot of people who are positive live good lives.
Because it works.
I'm not saying become delusional and everything in the world is good.
It just means seeing your reality as a great one.
Yes, the world might suck, but your mind is a positive place.
Your universe is awesome.
This mental health will contribute to your confidence.
Women will sense this when they see you and spend time in your company.
Men with mental health issues are a danger to women.
Women are wired to look out for men with mental issues.
They are a threat to women's reproductive potential and overall safety.
Bad mental health means chaos and instability for women.
When you are mentally stable and healthy women will want to spend time with you.
Women will then identify you as a person who is a leader, calm under pressure and trustworthy.
They will also see you as a person who is fun with a sense of humor.
And women love a man with a good sense of humor.
How Do You Develop Your Mental Health?
Let's look at the basics:
- Do fun things every day
- Improve your Social Group
- Live in a healthy place
- Exercise and Food
You need the knowledge to become a man of high value.
There are many forms of intelligence.
In the modern world, intelligence is more important than physical strength.
This is just the way we have developed in modern society.
Your intelligence will now decide how successful you will be financially, socially, and with sex.
Research has shown us that in long and short-term relationships success and intelligence plays a very big role.
Let's look at the types of intelligence women find attractive:
- Emotional intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the mindset of being able to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, as well as the emotions of others.It involves empathy, resilience, and self-awareness to foster relationships with others and sharpen our social awareness.
It enables us to gain insight from difficult experiences with greater clarity, as it helps decipher thoughts and feelings that may be irrational.It also helps you identify mind games.
More so, developing our emotional intelligence also strengthens our problem-solving skills by bolstering our capacity for adaptability and thinking objectively.
- Social intelligence
Social intelligence is a mindset that encompasses one’s ability to understand social dynamics, perceive and respond to subtle nonverbal cues in conversations, be compassionate and applicable with others, and possess resilience in the face of challenges.
Social intelligence is much more than having a pleasant conversation or being emotionally aware; it’s having the mental fortitude to read in between the lines of a social situation and use interpersonal skills to handle any issue that might arise.
It allows individuals to live life with a deeper understanding of self and those of others around them – making achieving goals simpler and life much more enjoyable.
- Verbal Intelligence
This is our ability with language and new information.
This is your ability to use language and is very important for humans.
Things like listening, giving feedback, and storytelling all matter.
Mastery of the use of words and verbal intelligence is the most important skill we develop.
- School or Academic Intelligence
This is formal intelligence that you learn in school or university.
This is helpful but not the most important.
Women are not just attracted to your IQ smarts.What women want in men is more than just IQ.
They find other forms of intelligence more important.
- Street Smarts or Practical Intelligence
Practical real-world skills always win over book smarts.
If you can show something compared to someone who just talks then you win.
Read a map, cook, fix a car, write computer code, start a business, shoot a gun, or do Jiu-Jitsu.
All practical skills.
They count a lot.
Show your skills and stop just talking about them.
How to improve your knowledge?
Let's look at the basics:
- Learn new things
- Take up new hobbies
- Learn from smart people
- Travel the world
Get Your Shit Together
You need to get your life together.
If you read this blog before then you know that I believe in getting your shit together is a choice.
You cant just do the same things that gave you no results.
It's time for change!
With this in mind you need to do the following:
- Build Your Will
How strong is your will?
How badly do you want to be successful in life?
How badly do you want to win in this game of life?
You will need to be so strong that nothing will be able to stop you.
Most women find willpower very attractive.
- You need to have a vision for your life
You also need goals that you want to achieve so you can turn this vision into reality.
Remember what we said earlier about effective men.
If you have willpower then it means you are effective.
And men that are effective are attractive to women.
- Get Your Money Right
You don't have to like this idea but that doesn't make it any less true.
Money itself is a representation of resources.
This is what subconsciously triggers attraction in women.
Not the money, but what money represents.
So you need to figure out how to become smarter with money and how to make a lot of money.
Therefore you need to raise your financial IQ.
- You need a Strong code of Self-Discipline
Self Discipline is your foundation for everything in your life.
Without self-discipline, nothing in your life will improve.
- Become a protector
Women want to feel safe with you.
So become physically stronger.
Then learn how to defend yourself.
Start by learning a martial art like Gracie Jiujitsu.
(3)Show The World Who You Are.
Talk means very little if you can't back it up with action.
So now need to show the world who you are.
You need to display your value to the world every day in your daily life.
Don't fall for the old bullshit advice that says “It's only what is inside that matters”.
This is bullshit.
Yes, what is inside is very important.
But nobody is a mind reader so you need to display your qualities to the world to have a real impact.
Both men and women evolved to show our qualities so that others can see them.
The Female Subconscious Radar
We can display a wide range of qualities that women can observe when they see you.
This radar looks for threats and also what women women desire.
When you come into contact with women anywhere she switches on her subconscious radar.
This radar looks for the following:
- Your movement and shape of your body.
She will look at your posture and body health.Pay attention to your bad habits.
- Your Size
How tall and heavy are you? She must-see if you are a potential threat or protector.
- Other Signals
Your age, sex, etc.
How do you dress? Do you have style?
- Body art and Accessories
Tattoos, jewelry, etc.
- Smell and Grooming
Smell is one of the most important things when it comes to attraction.
Also, your face, ear, and nose hair should be maintained.
Keep your skin healthy.
Women love a man that smells good and is well groomed
I recommend Tactical soap by Grondyke soap company.
Tactical soap is the best organic soap for men.
It will keep your skin healthy and smelling great.
- Social Proof
There is power in popularity and prestige.
Women will judge your level of attractiveness by your social network.
Whether you like this reality or not is irrelevant.
Humans as a species are social animals.
We evolve in groups and therefore women have a subconscious bias towards men with strong social groups.
She will look at the following:
- How outgoing and socially confident you are.
- Do people respect your expertise and skills?
- How many people like you and know you? This shows popularity.
- People paying attention to you. This is status in a nutshell.
- People changing their minds to fit in with you. This means you have influence.
Remember you are a stranger to women.
This means these qualities will tell her a lot about you.
As mentioned before money matters.
Is it everything? No! But it matters a lot.
It represents access to resources.
This means that a lot of resources mean you are effective as a man.
If you are effective then you are playing this game of life very well.
You need to figure this out!
Get your money right!
- Artistic Proof
Your artistic proof is the way you're presenting yourself to the world in terms of creativity as a human.
This shows women that you have other important qualities like confidence, intelligence, and openness.
To start out do the following:
-Learn how to dance so you can entertain her with your skill on the dance-floor
-Become a storyteller. Humans and especially women love engaging stories.
-Learn about music
Show her How you feel (not tell her how you feel)
Eventually, you will have to take action and show your value.
You need to be able to interact effortlessly with women and display who you are with confidence.
Don't worry if you suck right now.
You can learn these skills and improve.
As mentioned before you first need to believe it's possible.
Then learn and execute.
Then your confidence will grow.
Let's look at the basics:
- Don't stare at her like a mentally unstable person.
Relax and have a normal conversation.
- Introduce yourself in a calm and confident way.
Don't say “excuse me”.
This just means you are already saying sorry and it makes you look weak.
- Don't stand in the corner shadows like a stalker.
If you do this she will spot you and write you off as low value and ineffective.Be a good man of value.
- Eye contact is important.
So when you talk with her look into her eyes.
- Don't just stand there and stay in your head.
Really engage and listen to what she is saying. Be a good listener!
Then you can respond in a natural way by smiling and nodding when needed.
Let her do most of the talking,you just be the director.
Good communication is key to your success.
- Have a sense of humor and have fun.
Be playful and cocky.
Women like playful men.
And remember,women enjoy sex so they are also looking for someone from the opposite sex,so relax and have fun.
(4)Go Out And Take Action
So time to take action!
Maybe you want to date one woman or multiple women.
Maybe you want long term or short term.
Doesn't matter you need to go out, have a good time and meet them.
To have success you need to go where women are.
So if you are in a small city, for example, your chances are a lot lower than in a big city.
Good places to meet women are the following:
- Places with large numbers of women.
Large numbers of the type of women you like mean more results.
This is a logical conclusion.
For example, if you like the strong career type then Manhattan is a better choice.
If you like attractive feminine women then South Korea might be a good choice for example.
- A place where your age is attractive
Certain clubs and bars focus on certain age groups.
For example, some bars are for university students and others for young professionals.
Others are a mix.
So do your homework.
Some younger women want to meet older men.
And some women want to meet younger men.
Whatever it is figure out the type of place you're going to.
- The place where the ratio fits you.
There have to be more women than men.
Some cities and countries have more single women than men.
Some clubs and bars have more single women than men.
- A place where your value is high.
Some places will either raise or lower your value.
For example, if you go to a bar that is known as a military hangout and you are a civilian then your value drops.
However, let's say you go to a bar in a foreign country that is known for foreigners.
Then your value is higher because the women that go there are looking for that specific type of man.
Another example is when you go to a place where only doctors hang out and you are a musician then your value drops.
Online dating is one of my favorite ways to meet women.
It is easy to spend some time creating a good profile on a reputable website.
Then get a paid subscription and start connecting with women online.
I have already written articles about my success with online dating in Korea, Japan, and the Philippines.
However, my experience in the US and Russia has also been good.
The cool thing about these websites is that they have women from those countries living in your country too.
One of the best platforms to meet women is Instagram.Its not a “dating site” but it's a platform that can be used to meet women and set updates.
Instagram dating is here to stay.
There you have it.
Now you know how to be a better man and you learned what women want in men.
I just gave you a quick rundown of what you need to do to start getting dating and relationship success.
So take action.