“Should I get a girlfriend?”
When I get this question from guys my answer is mostly “No!”.
They then look at me with a surprised look on their faces.
The reason I say no to them is obvious to me
But not to them.
If more men asked this question and get honest answers they would avoid a lot of problems and heartache.
They would avoid divorce, unhappiness, and depression.
Most men have been brainwashed and live in a fairy tale.
They think that just because they find someone attractive means that they could have a shot at getting her.
And some actually do get a shot.
But they soon find out it was all for nothing.
They get dumped and soon find out that they dont have enough value to be with a high-value woman.
Most men find this as a shock to find out that their value determines success in a relationship.
They think they can get high-quality women with a magic pick up line or some psychological trick.
And some do fool the women for a few weeks or even a few months, but soon the cracks appear and everything starts falling apart.
This happens to many men.
They think they have to get a girlfriend as soon as possible.
They think they should just be chasing women because everyone else is doing it.
Sure, pursuing women should be part of a broader life strategy.
But it should not be the focus.
“But John what should the focus be?”
“You should be the focus!”
The guy staring at you in the mirror.
You should be your own biggest priority.
You should chase excellence, not women.
If you do this everything else will start coming together, including women.
So now, let's look at the question that started this article: “Should I get a girlfriend?”
The answer you already know: “No!”
Now let me tell you what you should do instead:
(1)Figure Out What You Like First.
Go on dates, as many as possible, but dont make anyone your girlfriend.
Figure out what it is that you value in women.
Looks – Skin tone,tall,short ,athletic,skinny?
Attitude – Shy ,outgoing,extrovert,introvert?
Culture– Latino, African, Asian, European?What culture do you prefer?
Style– Does she has a good sense of fashion and style?
Health and fitness – Does she have high standards for health and fitness?
Sex drive -Similar to you, more than you, less than you?
Look past just her looks.
Don't get seduced by just her beauty and be blind to all her faults.
Look at her as a person.
Is she the type of person you want to spend time with?
Is she trustworthy?
You need to experience a range of women to figure out what it is you want in a girlfriend, long term relationship, or even marriage.
I mentioned value earlier in this article.
The question now is what is your value?
Not just in terms of money.
But what is your value in all other areas of life?
What is your value as a man?
Be honest with yourself.
How valuable are you?
If there was an evaluation of men tomorrow would you stand out as above average?
Or would you be in the mediocre range?
If you have low value right now then your chances of being successful with high-value women are almost zero.
To change this you have to confront yourself and start making the changes to transform yourself into the type of man that women naturally find attractive.
(3)Laying The Foundation For Your Empire First.
Don't get into a relationship if you haven't laid down the foundation for your empire first.
Whatever it is you do in life you need to build a strong foundation.
If you are weak then everyone else you bring into your life will feel that weakness.
You can't hide that weakness for long.
You might get away with it for a short time but eventually, you will be exposed.
Whether you like this reality or not but women's nature is hypergamous.
And eventually, she will expose your real value and leave you or worse, make your life a nightmare.
You need to build momentum in your life first before you start thinking of bringing other people into your life.
In a relationship other people need you.
In a relationship, your girlfriend or partner will need your time.
If you think about having a family then this responsibility is a thousand times bigger.
And when you are in the building phase of your empire you need most of your time for building your empire.
If you want to live an extraordinary life and reach all your goals then you will need to walk alone for a while and build your power.
You need to become selfish and focus on you first.
Because when you are strong then you can help others.
You can't help others if you are weak.
So walk alone, build a powerful foundation, and build momentum.
While you build your life foundation you should date as much as possible but dating should not be your main priority.
Your mission should be your main priority.
I dont care if you are 20 or 45 years old………..if your value is low then you need to start working on changing it.
Dating should be something you do when you have time.
Women should be a byproduct of who you are as a man.
So in this regard planning and discipline are key.
As you build yourself up you will notice more female opportunities will start appearing in your life.
Have fun with it, enjoy it but stay on your mission.
Build a life that is extraordinary.
Build a life that women want to be part of.
Build a life that other men want to live.
Build something awesome.
But to get this type of power you need to do something that most want to avoid:
You need TO DO THE WORK!
So step up!
Until next time….