So you feel stuck?
Maybe you feel like making a change but something seems to keep you back.
For some reason, you think it's going to be OK.
So you keep on doing what you have always been doing.
You Think life will somehow work itself out.
I have some bad news
Not everyone wins.
Most people lose and they lose without realizing it.
They find out how badly they are losing when it's too late.
Unfortunately, most people are set up for failure.
Biology Is Ruthless
Biology is ruthless, there are no feelings involved and no favors.
It doesn't care about your emotions, your bad day or the fact that you feel tired.
Biology just keeps on doing its thing.
If you keep on allowing things to continue the way they are now then you will lose.
I get it, change is hard.
Most people will never change.
In today's environment, it's even harder for people to change.
Change is already hard because humans don't change easily, it takes effort.
But in today's environment where feelings matter more than the truth, it's extremely hard for people to change.
They get seduced by the warm hugs and taps on the back when things go wrong.
Our world today rewards failure, it tells people that it's OK.
It tells people,”don't worry its ok, it's not your fault”.
But what if it is your fault?
Today's world coddles people and gives them warm hugs when they actually need a punch in the mouth.
The brutal truth is that your time is running out.
Every day you allow yourself to be seduced by this world of emotion, hugging and crying you getting yourself deeper in trouble.
Most people don't want to feel the pain in their lives, they deny it, they keep it out.
They take the participation trophies and hugs and just carry on.
Here is the reality!
If you don't change you will probably live in stress, depression, and unhappiness for the rest of your life.
You will look back and ask yourself how did I get here?
The answer will then seem obvious to you even if you don't see it now.
Let me explain how most people get stuck by using the analogy of a compass and a ship.
Imagine all the people of the world being in ships that want to go North.
Let's imagine for the sake of this article that the North is where the great riches and good life is located.
So most people think they are going north.
So they sit on the ship and they wonder why they are not reaching their destination.
The reason why they are not reaching their destination is that they are going south.
They are going south and they don't know it.
Then they hit the rocks and all hell breaks loose.
They have been going south for years and didn't realize it.
What is the reason why most people are going South?
Well, they didn't know better.
They were misinformed.
They were told that “everything is OK”, and “just be grateful for what you have.”
Look at the state of the world today.
You will quickly see that many people are going south when they think they are going north.
This is the reason whey almost 50% of marriages are ending in divorce.
This is the reason why 20% of people in the US are on anti-depressants.
This is the reason why 60%of people are overweight and diseased.
This is the reason why 50 % of businesses fail.
The sooner you realized you are not OK and admit there is a problem the better.
I realized 10 years ago that I was in trouble and that I needed to make a change.
I realized I was going south just before I hit the rocks.
So I made the choice to turn my life around.
So change is possible but it's not easy.
Sometimes we are wrong and we need to take ownership and responsibility.
Change for most people is very hard.
The good news is that there is a way to force yourself to change.
There is a way to turn the ship around and go North.
It starts with you admitting you are going in the wrong direction and that you might be in deep shit.
Then you need to make a choice.
Let The Pain In.
Make a Choice to change today.
Start letting the pain into your life.
Start feeling that pain that you have been denying.
That pain that you have been pretending is not there.
Maybe you have been dosing yourself in drugs and alcohol to pretend it's not there.
I know the feeling I used to be there.
But stop whatever you're doing and let the pain in.
Here is the bottom line and modern science back this up.
Humans learn through extreme pain and trauma.
This is the way adult humans learn and change.
They change and learn through allowing themselves to feel the pain and getting scared.
If you are not scared let yourself feel that fear.
Then you can start changing.
Let that fear drive you to places that you thought were impossible.
So What is Next? Start Small Think Big
“I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up and boy does that help, particularly when you have a long run ahead of you.”
-Charlie Munger
Ok, so now you feel fear.
So how will you change?
How will you take control of your life?
Well its simple, you need to learn.
You need to get knowledge and replace the old fake “knowledge” that you had inside you that gave you nothing but misery.
Start small think big!
The good news is I'm not talking about going to university or school(although you can if that's what will help you.)
I'm talking about finding mentors in the forms of books, video, audio, and coaches.
The good thing about the human animal is that we can learn by watching others.
The famous Biologist Richard Dawkins wrote a famous book “The Selfish Gene.”
In the book, he says that humans have one big advantage over other species.
He says that the species that learn through trial and error lose to species that learn from other species trial and error.
So you don't need to learn through trial and error.
You can learn from the mistakes that other people have already made.
Another point Dawkins makes is that humans can project outcomes of something without having to do it themselves.
We can calculate and theorize and be pretty accurate about what is going to happen.
This gives us a massive advantage.
We can avoid mistakes and avoid pain in the future if we keep on learning.
“Survival machines that can simulate the future are one jump ahead of survival machines who can only learn on the basis of overt trial and error. The trouble with overt trial is that it takes time and energy. The trouble with overt error is that it is often fatal. Simulation is both safer and faster. The evolution of the capacity to simulate seems to have cumulated in subjective consciousness.”-Richard Dawkins
Remember ,you don't have to have the highest IQ to be successful.
You can work with people that have high IQ's to do the things you can't.
You can delegate, consult and learn.
This is what great leaders do and become highly successful.
You don't need to be an Olympic runner to become fit and healthy.
You can learn from books and mentors and become incredibly fit, strong and healthy.
But you need to let the pain and fear drive you.
You have to get inspired and learn.
The Challenge.
When you have been going North for a long time and you decide to change it will be hard.
It will be a challenge to transform your life.
Your mind will not like the fact that you figured out you are going south.
Your mind will try and stop you.
It will try to stay comfortable.
Remember your brain is not designed to make you happy.
It is designed to let you survive.
Your mind is driven by deep evolutionary drives and forces that are millions of years old.
Your mind will tell you that you are fine.
It will tell you that you must just stay where you are and be comfortable.
Your brain doesn't care about your goals and happiness.
It will make up stories and reasons why you should just keep on doing what you are doing.
Your mind will try and make you his bitch.
You have to punch your mind in the mouth and override the system.
You have to take control.
When your brain tells you “you are special and amazing” punch it in the mouth again and say, “You know what? I'm not that amazing. I have been making a lot of mistakes. It's time I learn some lessons. It's time for a change!”.
So be very careful with your old mind and how it tries to seduce you in back to the old ways.
It will take a few months to turn the ship around and start going in a new direction.
However, you have to make to choice to change now!
We don't like being uncomfortable that is why we don't learn.
You have to let the pain in and learn through self-discipline.
Become a Learning Machine.
“Read 500 pages every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will do it.”
– Charlie Munger
You have to start to reverse engineer success.
We are spoilt with knowledge. We have all the resources at our fingertips.
All we have to do is to use them.
We don't have any excuses.
Ways To Learn.
- Books
Books are mentors. Reading is one of the greatest ways to learn.
Books are powerful, they are power on paper.
The most successful people in the world read every day. Warren Buffet reads 8 hours a day.
So do others like Charlie Munger, Elon Musk, Mark Cuban and many others.
The Books should focus on education, personal development, and biographies.
- Blogs
Blogs like the one you reading now can help you with motivation, inspiration, education, and tools you need to improve your life.
- Courses (Audio and Video)
Online video courses are great to get detailed instruction in video form in whatever subject matter you are interested in.
It's your responsibility to take knowledge, internalize and apply it.
So get your ass in a chair and learn.
The average human's attention span is very low, so you will have to overcome it and practice to focus longer.
It will get better with practice and discipline.
Hard Work Is Not Enough.
Remember hard work alone will not get you there.
Think about it, construction workers work hard.
But does that make them the highest earning individuals on the planet?
No!
So we need something that is more effective than just hard work.
Of course, hard work is an important part of success but it's not enough.
We need to be Conscientiousness.
What Is Conscientiousness?
Conscientiousness can be best described by breaking it down into 4 parts:
- Organization
Start by planning your day.
Start your day by writing down the most important tasks of the day.
Doesn't have to take more than 5 minutes.
Write down what you want to accomplish every day.
- Perfectionism
Double check your work.
Make sure you produce high-quality work that provides value to yourself and other people.
Most importantly work that you will be rewarded for.
- Diligence
Hard work and discipline is a very important part of being Conscientiousness.
- Prudence
Ability to make the right decisions using knowledge and consultation.
Before you make decisions make sure you have all the information on a particular matter.
Then consult people with specialized knowledge before making your decision.
- Experience
Be willing to learn through your experience.
When you start taking action to reach the true north you will gain valuable experience to become better.
You will make mistakes and get setbacks. Learn from those mistakes so you don't make them again.
Learn, adapt and keep pushing North.
- Listening
“I learn from everybody, sometimes its what not to do”
– Abraham Lincoln.
Good leaders are great listeners.
For you to get where you want to go you need to cultivate the skill of listening.
I know it sounds simple but how many people truly listen to another people talking?
Most people just wait until it's their turn to speak.
Listen and learn from others.
Many of us have the habit of talking too much and listening too little. Try and change that habit.
Make a Choice To Go North.
If you decide to change direction and go towards the true North then congratulations.
The reality is that most people that find out they have been going south do nothing about it.
First, they freak out and feel bad about it.
But then they just accept it.
They give up and come up with a list of excuses why they can't do anything about it.
They decide to die slowly and quietly into the dark night.
You made a different choice.
You have courage.
The good news is that courage combined with knowledge is the road to success.
The power of thinking big will change your life.
So start small think big.
See you in the North!
