So you want to improve yourself? Cool, I like that.
It's good to get better and start building your power.
So you read that Personal Development book and you got all excited about “improving yourself”.
And after a few weeks of playing this self-improvement game things start falling apart.
You decide this whole “Self Improvement” thing is not for you.
You tell yourself you were actually doing OK and go back to “Normal Life”.
You tried a bit of a change but it's not for you.
So you go back to your old routine.
Doing the same old thing you always do and getting the same old shitty results.
So you go back to square one.
One day you sit at a coffee shop smoking your cigarette and you see a confident, attractive, powerful man walking past with a beautiful woman at his side.
You think for a second how cool it would be to be that guy.
You tell yourself that you gave it a shot but it's not for you. After all your life is not that shit.
It's ok, its kinda vanilla. It's medium. It's average. It's Mediocre.
You don't feel that bad all the time, you just never feel satisfied and some days just fucking suck.
The Story Of Most Men
This what I just described is the story of thousands of men around the world.
They tell themselves the same story. The story that at least they tried to change themselves.
But let me tell you something about “Self Improvement”:
It's not as easy as a lot of self-help books makes it seems. But its also not that difficult.
But here is the kicker:
There is a simple reason these guys fail to change themselves.
The reason is they are dabbling in self-improvement.
They are kinda playing with it.
Just putting one foot in the water and feeling the temperature. They stay safe so that can pull it out.
That way they dont have the risk of falling in the water and maybe drowning in the rough seas of life.
How To Improve Yourself?
So how do you go into self-improvement and make it work for you?
Firstly you need to make a decision that whatever is going on in your life is just not cutting it anymore.
You are drawing a red line. Once you cross it there is no coming back. You make a commitment to never-ending self-improvement.
You are never going to be the same again. That old you is dead. He is never coming back. He is gone.
This is the mindset you need to take a shot at your dreams.
You start by writing down exactly what is wrong with your life.
You then go through that list and start writing exactly the actions you are going to take to get the results you want.
The fundamentals Are Always A Great Place To Start:
- Your Body.
Start by working out and make it hard short and intense. You don't need 2 hours of intense training. You need something that makes you uncomfortable.
Something that makes you think about stopping because it's so uncomfortable. It should be hurting and that's ok.
Start eating healthy and drinking healthy stuff. Forget about just giving in to your natural impulse of eating junk.
- Your Mind.
Cut out the people that are holding you back and that is not wishing you the best or at least spend less time with them.
Stop watching TV and stop watching porn. Instead, improve your dating life and start having sex a lot.
Start cutting off all negativity like the news and other negative influences.
Start reading good books and blogs and start filling your mind with positive stuff.
I'm just giving you a starting point here but let's look at something more important that I touched on above.
The Key To Change.
Your body is the machine that runs everything and the mind drives it.
You need to make sure both your body and mind start getting used to being uncomfortable.
Most men have been giving in to all their natural impulses. They have feasted on junk food, surfed the internet and generally lived far under their potential.
You need to return to the old companion and friend of great men through history, his name is Self-Discipline.
Self Discipline is the thing that will force you to stay with the discomfort, stay with the pain.
It will make sure you don't quit and go back to the world of comfort and easy ways out.
Self Discipline will become your armor that you use to overcome the obstacles and find refuge in the world of temptations.
If you can do this you will start seeing the first sign of progress.
The Danger of Too Much Comfort.
There are real consequences for too much comfort. Maybe you weren't even aware of the dangers of too much comfort.
Its human nature to get seduced by comfort and pleasure. Although these things are fun to enjoy at times it makes you soft and vulnerable if you lose yourself in it.
It breaks down your confidence and self-belief.
Gradually you stop believing you can achieve something and you know you are not reaching your potential.
Now that you are aware of this you know that you have to stay away from this trap.
The worst thing about being weak and vulnerable is that when bad things happen you are in no condition to be there for yourself and for your family and the people you care about.
This is unacceptable. You need to build your strength. Both physically and mentally.
Difficulty And Struggle Is A Muscle.
When you start doing hard things that demands hard work, consistency, and perseverance, you realise that you can overcome challenging situations.
You start building that fighting spirit in you. The warrior spirit inside you starts waking up. It starts growing and starts glowing inside you like a fire.
If you keep on feeding this fire it will grow into an inferno that can't be stopped.
Do the opposite and soon there will be nothing but smoke.
If you don't challenge yourself you will have no idea how you will act when real adversity strikes. You have to train your mind and body for hard and difficult times.
When you need to step up and defend yourself or deal with a crisis in your work or family will you be ready? Or will you fold like a weakling? You make the choice.
The Simulation Of Challenging Times.
The best thing about putting yourself in challenging situations in the gym, Jiujitsu, Running or any other activity is that you learn how to fight.You simulate hard times.
You learn how to fight not only with your body but also with your mind. You are training for life. Accept that you are a warrior.
You are always getting ready for battle. Battle with the dark side of your own mind and with the world that throws shit your way.
Try to constantly put yourself in stressful situations. This will grow your mental strength.
Hero Of Your Own Movie.
Imagine yourself as the hero of your own movie. Imagine you are in the part of the movie where your life sucks and you are a loser.
Right now in your movie, you are at a crossroads and you decide to make a choice.
You decide that you are not going to be that person anymore, you are becoming someone else.
You are going to transform yourself. Make a line in the sand.
Your age, background, race, nationality or anything else is irrelevant.
The only thing that matter is you making the decision to burn your boats and never to return to the place you are right now.
Imagine the movie is documentary style and the cameras are following you around.
The camera crew is recording your progress, challenges and the changes you are going through.
Imagine people watching the documentary and being amazed and inspired by your incredible story of courage, perseverance, and grit.
Imagine the new you being congratulated by people.
The best movies and stories are usually the guy who fucks his life up first. Then he makes a comeback from the edge.
He turns it all around at the last moment.
Think of the great hero stories like Batman and Rocky. They lose it all and go into the darkness where all seem lost.
They then transform and rebuild themselves into someone stronger, better and more powerful than ever before.
These are the stories I read and the movies I watch. The great comeback stories of our time. What is your story going to be?
I mentioned before to start with the fundamentals and take things from there.
Forget About The Perfect Plan.
Forget about having everything figured out at the beginning. Nobody has everything perfectly planned at the beginning.
The most important thing is just showing up every day and never quitting. You are not going to be perfect all the time. Many days you are going to feel like shit.
You will not feel like getting up and going out to train or do whatever it is you have to do that day.
Maybe you need to work out, write your book, go to Jiujitsu, train for a marathon, go swimming, or study for your medical school entrance exam.
Whatever it is you need to show up, that is 80% of the battle.
Guess what? Those days where you feel like absolute shit and you show up are the most important days. Those are the days that you grow and get stronger.
When you persevere and show up against all odds you start growing that power muscle in your mind. You start growing your mental toughness.
Like mentioned before, this is where you go to your old friend discipline to pull you through the hard times.
You go running in freezing cold weather, or crazy humid weather, rain or whatever the conditions.
You go lift the weights when you are feeling weak and distracted.
You go write that book when you would rather be doing anything else.
You go talk to that beautiful women even when you are paralyzed by fear.
You go give that speech at work even if you are so scared you want to puke.
You make that sales call and close the deal even if you think you cant.
When the whole world thinks you are not going to show up you do.
You do more than just show up, you dominate. You rock the show. You bring the intensity that you didn't even know is inside you. You bring it all.
You step on all the fears lurking in the dark corners of your mind and you jump. You go for it! You always go for it.
Your Mind Is The General And Your Body The Troops.
You will feel that something is trying to stop you as you want to take action. You will feel it in that moment when you are about to take action.
Don't be surprised by it. It is the resistance.
The author Steven Pressfield calls it the resistance.
It's that thing that comes out of nowhere that tries to stop you when you want to do very important work.
It's that voice that tells you to stay in bed in the morning before your weight training.
It's that voice that tells you not to talk to that beautiful woman because it's uncomfortable.
It's that voice that tells you nobody will take your presentation seriously at work.
It's that voice that tells you to watch more TV when you should go for a run.
It's the voice that tells you to keep on surfing Facebook instead of reading an important book.
It's that voice that stops you from doing those daily important tasks that have the potential to transform your life.
Watch out for the resistance because I can guarantee you it will show up and try a convince you to stop.
Remember your brain is not designed to make you happy, that is your job. Your brain is designed to help you survive.
It does not care about your dreams and goals. You need to to take of those dreams.
Become A Pro.
You have to become the Professional of your life. Just like a Pro Football Player or Golfer gets up every day to train and do his thing day after day with no excuses.
You need to be the Pro of your own life. Your life is a business, a very serious business. In this business of life, you need to make sure you are very successful and you consistently win.
This mindset of being a pro and always showing up will never stop. This is a lifelong process in the pursuit of mastery.
Forget about the trap of arriving somewhere and then you are done. Lying on the beach for the rest of your life will not make you happy.
Reaching your full potential and making an impact on the planet even after your die will make you fulfilled.
Pros do the work even when they don't feel like it. That's is why they are pros.
Bad Mental Habits.
When you start you will notice some bad mental habits from your years living in comfort and mediocrity.
One of the major bad habits men carry with them is their past. They claw to their past. They let it define them so they struggle to move forward.
You are not your past, that thing doesn't define you anymore. The moment you crossed your own red line and burnt your boats it all changed.
You are now creating a new you, someone who has learned a great deal from their past mistakes.
You have internalized these lessons and have grown stronger from them. Now you let it all go.
Be free and walk away.
Stop For A Moment and Examine Your Thoughts.
What are the thoughts that dominate your mind consistently every day?
Whatever is influencing you in a negative way and forcing you to just act on that momentum needs to be stopped.
If you are surrounded by bad people and watching the news every day then you need to stop. Those things are not helping you.
The news and bad people are just 2 examples but you need to take control of your mental environment.
You need to reclaim the space in your mind.
You set up the rules and environment according to your new standards of positivity, courage, hard work, learning and consistency.
You don't allow people that try to mess with that into your world. You are now making the rules.
Expectations of Others.
Many people wake up and realize that they have been living according to other peoples expectations of them.
They realize they are living someone else's life, a life they didn't set out to live.
They realize they are just feeding a machine that is never satisfied.
If you are currently in this situation stop creating debt. Stop buying stuff you don't need or can't afford to impress others.
Stop putting yourself where your whole life is just doing the shit job to pay the bills that you created.
If you are in a position where you have kids and a wife the situation is even worse.
Because now you are trapped in a life which you didn't choose but just woke up finding yourself in it. You are here because you wanted to please people.
Having a family is great. But it's only great if you make that choice and want to live that life. But don't do it to be accepted because you will never get out.
Now you can't take any risks and do those things you really want to do.
The Big Traps.
Like I briefly mentioned above there are other traps like “retirement”.and the good working environment”.
The “good working environment” is the trap where you get all the cool stuff at work so they can force you to do a job you absolutely hate.
You then wake up 20-years later and you wonder what happened.
Remember life is a journey. You get a map but you need to make sure you don't take the road that everyone is following.
Just because everyone does it doesn't mean its right.
Choose your own path on that map and get to the destination on your own terms.
Make up your own rules.
Don't just blindly walk the road and fall into one of the traps I mentioned above.
Prepare your body and mind and be mindful of the danger on the road.
Keep getting better and stronger. Remember the authors of the mainstream map don't have your best interests in mind.
They want you to get comfortable and walk down one of their roads and get trapped. This happens to most men on the planet.
They don't even see it coming before its too late. Once they get you to walk their road and do their jobs they got you right where they want you. They now make you comfortable and complacent.
They start talking about your retirement and your 401k. They offer you credit and loans and tell you to buy a house and buy a big ring for your girlfriend.
They feed you just enough bullshit that you feel OK but you are never satisfied.
You just become a sleepwalker in a mediocre world where people sleepwalk to their deaths in front of their overpriced TV sets.
You have to learn to avoid these traps. They are life-threatening.
Maybe you are in a trap right now? Maybe your life just sucks right now?
Good And Bad News.
Whatever your position I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that it's not too late. The bad news is you have to start right now and burn your boats.
The fact is that if you are reading this right now you are at a crossroads where you are considering changing direction in life, you feel ready.
However, if you miss this chance who knows if you will get the opportunity again.
Maybe this is your shot?
Take Ownership Right Now.
Go sit down and start drafting your personal constitution.
Your new rules for life.Your new vision for your life.
Right down where you are now and where you want to go. Write down your vision for the future.
Then write down how you will execute it and get it done. Forget about being perfect just write it down.
It will change over time, but for now, you are making your own map.A blueprint for your life.
Make a Commitment To Excellence and Transformation.
You are now ready to burn your boats and take your past and leave it in the boat. Then blow that bitch up and walk off into the sunset like a giant.
If you do this you will put yourself in the company of a very small group of men that are walking a different path.
This path is not easy and it's not for everyone. There are no guarantees or safety nets. Its a commitment to Excellence and Transformation.
The risks are big but the rewards or massive.
If you take this road you will start living again like a proud man with your chest out and a smile on your face.
Because now you are free to go after what you really want. Now you are living like a warrior.
Remember Comfort is not your friend so don't look for it.